Read Textual Sermon from John K. Jenkins Sr
Turn with me to First Kings, chapter 3. First Kings, chapter 3.
Here is a passage about Solomon, who became king at the young age of twenty. He was twenty years of age when he became king, and he would reign for forty years. During this reign, he faces a challenging situation. It’s recorded in this third chapter of First Kings, beginning at verse 16.
It says, “Now two women, who were harlots, came to the king and stood before him. And one woman said, ‘Oh, my lord, this woman and I dwell in the same house; and I gave birth while she was in the house. Then it happened, the third day after I had given birth, that this woman also gave birth. And we were together; no one was with us in the house, except the two of us in the house.’” Get the situation: these two harlots—these two women of the night—have both become pregnant and given birth to two sons within three days of each other. They only live in a house; there’s no man, no husband, no boyfriend around. They give birth to these two sons.
Verse 19 says, “And this woman’s son died in the night because she lay on him.” She rolls in the middle of the night, took my son from my side while your maidservant slept, and laid him in her bosom, and laid her dead child in my bosom. When I rose in the morning to nurse my son, there he was, dead. But when I had examined him in the morning—indeed, he was not my son whom I had borne.”
Then the other woman said, “No! But the living one is my son, and the dead one is your son.” And the first woman said, “No! But the dead one is your son, and the living one is my son.” Thus they spoke before the king. He is in a situation where he has to do something and determine how to resolve this issue.
These two women are fighting over a living child. One child has died; the other one is alive, and they are debating—wrestling—over who is the mother of this child. I want to talk to you for a few moments about the traits—the distinctive traits—between a good and a bad mother. There are some traits. There are some indications, some indicators. There are some characteristics. This is not an exhaustive list, but just a list that I want to find—just a few things that I want to see in this particular case.
Before I address it, I want to spend just a few moments talking about the fact of what a child is. I think it’s important that people understand that the responsibility of being a mother is a serious responsibility. A child is not your toy or your prize. A child is not to be used as a pawn in your debate with their father.
Children need nurturing, developing, teaching, discipline. Unfortunately, our culture and our community have lost the art of mothering. We live in a generation where people are leaving their kids to raise themselves, and not raising their kids. If you’re not careful, the kids will raise you instead of you raising the kids.
My mother never asked me what I wanted for dinner. She didn’t fix dinner according to my wishes or desires. She made dinner and put it in front of me. If I didn’t like what she put in front of me, she put some Reynolds Wrap around it and stuck it in the refrigerator. When I got hungry later that night because I hadn’t eaten, she brought it back out and said, “Here’s your dinner.” I wish I had a friend cry with me here today.
This is the responsibility of parenting. So Solomon is faced with these two mothers who have given birth to these sons, and one of the children has died in the night. Now they’re debating about whose child it is. How does Solomon solve this? I’m glad you asked the question.
The Setting: Solomon’s Test of Wisdom
Look at verse 23: “And the king said, ‘The one says, “This is my son who lives, and your son is the dead one”; and the other says, “No! But your son is the dead one, and my son is the living one.”’ Then the king said, ‘Bring me a sword.’ So they brought a sword before the king. And the king said, ‘Divide the living child in two, and give half to one, and half to the other.’ Then the woman whose son was living spoke to the king, for she yearned with compassion for her son; and she said, ‘O my lord, give her the living child, and by no means kill him!’ But the other said, ‘Let him be neither mine nor yours, but divide him.’ So the king answered and said, ‘Give the first woman the living child, and by no means kill him; she is his mother.’”
What is demonstrated in this situation is the king’s wisdom. But what also is demonstrated are the traits of a mother—a true mother, a meaningful mother. Yes, these two women had some things in common. They were both prostitutes; they both had a history they would not be proud of; they both lived in the same house; they both gave birth to sons within three days of each other; they were both without husbands; they both lived alone, only with their children and each other as roommates. But late in the middle of the night, a horrible thing occurs. One of the women awakens only to discover that her son is dead. He’s not moving, he’s not breathing, he’s not nursing; there are no kicks, no signs of life, no response to his mama’s voice. It was a horrible situation that happened to her.
Yet, in the few moments she had, this demonstrated some traits—traits of a bad mother. This woman, who wakes up in the morning and discovers her child dead—when she wakes up, she makes some choices and decisions that demonstrate the traits of a not-so-pleasant mama.
Y’all are supposed to say, “Go ahead and tell us what your traits are, pastor.”
It is not the situation that makes this horrible—because some women have faced the fact that their babies have died. What makes it horrible is her response to the condition that she faced. There are many situations recorded in the Scriptures where someone faced a horrible situation, and their response was less than admirable. Such is the situation here. She seeks to solve her problem by quietly sneaking into her housemate’s room and switching her dead child with her roommate’s living baby.
Look up and down your row—there are too many people who are willing to switch their dead situation with your living situation. I can’t get no amens in here. I hear y’all—there’s tension in the room. Somebody said, “There’s tension in the room.”
Traits of an Ungodly Mother
Let me take a moment and look at this ungodly mother and what some of her traits were.
1) Careless. In verse 19 it says, “This woman’s son died because she lay on him.” She was so accustomed to rolling over on something that she failed to realize that what she was rolling over on this night was her own son. She was accustomed to having something in the bed with her. She was accustomed to being in a situation that, now that she had a child, she didn’t realize that was not some John. I don’t know why they call them “Johns.” They should call them Bills or Ricks or something like that—but not John. She was not accustomed to the fact that this was not just some man in the bed—a trick, somebody that she would get some money from. She ignored the baby’s cry. She didn’t recognize that the baby was struggling to breathe and fighting to live. She was careless. I hate to tell you, we live in a culture where mothers are careless with their kids.
When I hear about thirteen-year-old boys in the streets in the middle of the night, I want to know, where is their mama? Yes, I know daddies can be irresponsible, but there’s something about a woman who has given birth to a child that causes a concern for her child that ought to be louder and greater. She was careless. She did not make the adjustments to recognize, “I have to sleep differently now. I need to live differently. I need to walk differently. I need to live my life differently than the way I’ve lived it.” She was careless, with no concern.
2) Deceitful. Look at your neighbor and say, “We’ve got a lot of deceitful women in the church.” There might be one on your row—see if you can figure out who it is. She did her deed of switching her baby in the night. Some of y’all are wide awake in the night. What are you doing up at night? Why are you accustomed to being up at night? You ought to be asleep. Verse 20 says, “She arose in the middle of the night and took my son from my side while your maidservant slept, laid him in her bosom, and laid her dead child in my bosom.” She did her dirty deed at night. Somebody say, “She was deceitful.” Verse 22 says, “Then the other woman said, ‘No! But the living one is my son, and the dead one is your son.’ And the first woman said, ‘No! But the dead one is your son, and the living one is my son.’” One of them is lying. One of them is not telling the truth. I think it’s tragic for somebody to want their pain to also be somebody else’s pain. It’s tragic. It’s sad to hear this deceitful woman was willing not only to steal this other baby, but she was willing to lie about it—to be dishonest about it. Many mothers are willing to live dishonestly, to live deceitfully. She thought she could get away with it. I’m amazed today—shocked, surprised—at the number of women who are willing to live deceitful lives.
3) Selfish. Somebody say, “Selfish.” She was even willing to see the living child killed. She wanted to see the other woman be in pain—that somehow that would satisfy her pain. She was selfish because she didn’t care, in meeting her needs, how it would impact other people. We live in a culture where people are only concerned about themselves. Look at your neighbor and say, “It ain’t about you, baby.” Life ain’t about you. Life does not center around your wishes and your wants.
I know you’ve heard me say this before, but let me just say it again. I hate to keep bringing it up, but it comes to my recollection: at one time my wife and I were in an intense fellowship, and she said to me, “John Jenkins, the problem with this marriage is we are both in love with you.” Please don’t encourage her foolishness! It’s so easy for us to get selfish in our lifestyle, our walks, and our wishes. But somewhere along the way you and I have to recognize that life is not about you. Look at your neighbor; tell them one more time, “It ain’t about you, baby.” It’s not about your wants; it’s not about your wishes; it’s not about your satisfaction. Go ahead, tell them—it’s not about your dreams and your aspirations. Life is not about you. It’s not about everybody else sacrificing for you. It’s not about everybody centering around what you want.
This woman should have been showing grief that her child was dead. She should have been crying that her child had died. She should have been grief-stricken, but she was not. She thought, “How can I switch out my baby with this other woman’s baby, and I’ll be happy?” She was willing to take from somebody else in order to get her needs satisfied. I’m here to try to kill the spirit that makes people think that it’s all about you. She immediately devised a plan to swap out the babies.
I want to say to you today—and pray—that God would change some of us from ungodly traits to godly traits. Thank God for the godly mother. This godly woman demonstrates some godly traits.
Traits of a Godly Mother
1) Careful. She was careful. Somebody say, “She was careful.” Verse 21: “When I rose in the morning to nurse my child, there he was, dead; but when I had examined him in the morning, indeed, he was not my son whom I had borne.” She was so careful that she knew her child, and she knew that the child that was now in bed with her was not her child.
I need to spend a moment on this, because I think there’s a tragedy today that a lot of mothers don’t know their children. I have learned this since we started a school at the First Baptist Church of Glenarden (Shabbat Ministries): a lot of the parents and the mothers don’t know their kids. When we tell them what their kids have done or what their kids are doing, they say, “Oh no, that could not have been my child.”
I will never forget—Jimmy. Jimmy, my son—Jimmy, I hate to use you. Jimmy, you are on display today—again—because the truth of the matter is, if we had had Jimmy first, there would be no other kids in the store. Jimmy was the one who created the drama. Jimmy was the one with the strong will. Jimmy was the one who, if we told him no, he said yes. He was going to figure out a way to get what he wanted—even if it meant he tried to put his mom and me against each other; even if it meant he had to go behind our backs. So when the teacher put on the progress report that Jimmy had behavioral problems in school, we knew it was possibly true.
We didn’t go to the teacher and say, “No, not Jim. It could not possibly have been Jim.” We didn’t try to put the blame on some other child—“He did this because that child did this or that child did that.” We knew that Jimmy was fully capable of what the teacher said he did. I don’t know how this has happened, but over the years, somehow something has gotten a hold of Jim-Jim, and he’s a new man today. He’s traveling the world, doing the work that God has given to his hands—just got back from Qatar, doing some work in Qatar—and I’m so proud that he is not the young man he used to be. I have to blame the belt and the switches that helped drive him to become the man that he is today.
I want to say to mothers: you’ve got to be careful with your children. Know your child. I like this woman. She says, “When I examined my child”—do y’all see that in verse 21?—“I examined him in the morning, and indeed, he wasn’t my son.” I checked him out; I looked him over; I knew his traits; I knew about him. I want to say to mothers today: be the mothers that know what’s going on in your child’s life. Know who their friends are. Grab the earphones and find out what kind of music they’re listening to. See what kind of shows they’re watching. Find out who they’re emailing. I know there’s a philosophy that says that a child should have a level of privacy and that parents shouldn’t be able to delve into what they’re doing. The devil is a liar. As long as I’m paying the bills, putting a roof over their head, food in their stomach, and clothes on their back, I will look at anything I want to look at. As their parent, I have a responsibility to do that.
Can I get an amen right there from anybody? Children, I’m trying to tell you—you don’t have any rights. You have no rights. Go ahead and call the police if you want to.
2) Truthful. Here’s the second trait. I could spend a few more moments on this, but let me run over to the next one. This godly mother was truthful. I want to say to parents: your child is listening to you on the phone and in your conversations. You teach them to lie when somebody calls you and you tell the child, when they answer the phone, “Tell them I’m not here.” You’re teaching them that there are situations where it’s okay to lie. They get their example from the model that you set in front of them. Be truthful. Tell your neighbor, “Be truthful.” In the face of a bad situation, this woman spoke truth. Too many people will tell a lie in order to protect themselves.
3) Unselfish. Thirdly and finally, this mother was unselfish. I admire her, because she was willing to do without the pleasure of raising her son if it meant that her son lived. Let me break that down for you: the king said, “Bring me a sword. I’m going to cut the baby in half,” and she said, “Let my child live,” even if it meant she would not have the pleasure of having the child. She was willing to give the child to the other mother—even though it was her child. She was willing to surrender him, just so that the child would live. That’s what a good mother does: she sacrifices her own pleasures in order to be unselfish and to think about what’s in the best interest of her child. That’s what motherhood is all about—making a choice and a decision that’s in the best interest of your child, not what’s in your best interest, but what’s in the best interest of your child.
The Gospel Application and Call
I look back over my life. Eleven years ago today—on Mother’s Day—my mama passed. I got a text after preaching the first service that morning that my mother had transitioned, and immediately my mind went through all the things that my mother did over the years to take care of me, to love on me and my siblings. I think about how she served and worked and cooked and took care of us when we were sick. She sacrificed her own pleasures to see that we were taken care of. This mother showed compassion and care for her child by saying, “If it means that I will not have the pleasure of having my child, but my child will live—let my child live.” The other mother demonstrated that she was not the mother of that living child because she was willing to see the child die.
I’m so glad today that that same trait resides in our Lord and Savior, who thought about our needs—who was willing to die so that we could have eternal life. He was wounded for our transgressions and bruised for our iniquity, and the chastisement of our peace was laid on Him. He died so we could have life. He was buried in the grave so we could have a relationship with the Father. He died and was buried, and—thanks be to God—He knew that if He died, God would raise Him up from the dead. In fact, that’s why I serve Jesus: because He proved and demonstrated that He’s God wrapped up in human form. He conquered death. Early on Sunday morning, He got up with all power in His hands. He is alive and well. Somebody say, “He’s alive and well!”
There might be somebody here today who doesn’t have a relationship with that God—who, in fact, has cared for you all the way up to this point in your life. He has spared you. You should have been dead. You’ve been in enough situations—you should have died—but He spared your life because He wants a vibrant, living relationship with you. Maybe you’ve been selfish; maybe you’ve been unconcerned about your walk and relationship with God. My assignment today is to make an appeal to you to surrender to the Lord Jesus. Let me invite you to get up out of your seat and make your way to this altar right now and say, “You know what? I want Jesus in my life.” Thank you. Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed, but make your way here to the altar and say, “You know what? I want the Lord Jesus in my life. I want forgiveness of my sins. I want to have a relationship with Him.” Let me invite you to come. So proud of you—amen. So proud of you—thank you. Here’s one—somebody else, come right now while the blood is running warm in your veins. God cared enough about you to spare your life. Let me invite you to come and say yes to the Lord. If you’re unsaved, come. If you’re backslidden—if you drifted out of fellowship with God—you can rededicate yourself to Him right now, today, this very moment. Come and say yes to Him. If you’re unsure of your eternal destiny, now is the time to come. Or maybe you need a church home—amen. Encouraging while they’re coming—amen, amen—somebody else, come on.
If you’re saved and you need a church home—you’re already saved, you’re walking with God, but you need a church home—now would be the right time for you to come. Give the Lord a shout for these souls here today. The person behind you is an altar counselor. They’re going to take you to a room and talk with you, find out why you came, and give you some instructions. Please follow those instructions. I’m going to pray for you. Your life is never going to be the same again.
Let’s pray. Father, thank You for these who’ve come. I pray, Lord God, that You would manifest Yourself to them. Forgive them, cleanse them, open their eyes to the truth of who You are. Plant them in Your vineyard. Fill them with Your Spirit. I pray for those who have doubts to get assurance, and for those who are already saved to be planted. In Jesus’ name we pray—amen and amen.
Scripture Readings (KJV)
1 Kings 3:24–27 (KJV):
“And the king said, Bring me a sword. And they brought a sword before the king. And the king said, Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one, and half to the other. Then spake the woman whose the living child was unto the king, for her bowels yearned upon her son, and she said, O my lord, give her the living child, and in no wise slay it. But the other said, Let it be neither mine nor thine, but divide it. Then the king answered and said, Give her the living child, and in no wise slay it: she is the mother thereof.”
Isaiah 53:5 (KJV):
“But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.”
1 Corinthians 15:3–4 (KJV):
“For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures.”
Romans 10:9–10 (KJV):
“That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”
Questions This Sermon Answers
- What distinguishes a godly mother from an ungodly mother in 1 Kings 3?
• Why does careless, deceitful, and selfish behavior harm children and families?
• How do carefulness, truthfulness, and unselfishness reveal a mother’s heart?
• What does Solomon’s judgment teach us about wisdom and discernment?
• How does the compassion of the true mother point us to Christ’s sacrificial love?
