Are You Emotionally Healthy? Part 1, 7 Feb. 2018 - Enjoying Everyday Life - Joyce Meyer (sermons online). No matter what you've been through, God loves you! Joyce shares how to go from hurting to having an emotionally healthy, enjoyable life!
full textual sermon "Are You Emotionally Healthy?" Part 1, 7 Feb. 2018 - Enjoying Everyday Life - Joyce Meyer
Announcer: this program has been made possible by the friends and partners of Joyce Meyer ministries.
Joyce Meyer: if you don't love yourself and value yourself, there is nothing else in your life that's going to be enjoyable or in the right order. Joyce Meyer: today, now we're going to talk about emotional health, emotional health.
Joyce Meyer: yes. Good, two people are happy. That's all right, I'll preach to the two of you. Are you emotionally healthy? Well, to be honest, there's a lot of people walking around that are not emotionally healthy, and sometimes our emotions are out of control. We're wounded in our soul from things that have happened to us in the past. And we get out in life, and we get into relationships, and we try to function, and things just don't work out. Temper's out of control, self-pity, discouragement, depression, all these different things. When we have bad behavior that we can't control, when we have emotions that are out of control, there's always a root somewhere. We hear people say a lot, "well, we just need to get to the bottom of this." Have you ever had a problem with somebody repeatedly and over and over, and you've said that? "we just need to get to the bottom of this." Well, what you're really saying is, "there's more to this than what's appearing on the surface, and we need to get down to what the real problem is here." I'll give you one example. For years and years in my marriage, I just felt like that dave and I could not talk about anything and not argue. And so I would always say, which just infuriated him, "we just can't talk about anything." And finally, he said one day, "you know, Joyce, we don't talk, you talk and you want me to listen." Well, the Bible says that God will guide us into all truth. And that can sound so lovely, but let me tell you something, it's not going to help you to know the truth about somebody else. He wants to reveal truth to you about you. And we worry way too much about what other people are doing or are not doing, and we need to just open our own lives up to God and say, "you deal with me and I'll pray for everybody else, and you'll take care of that too." Well, dave and I would start to talk about something and, honestly, unless he agreed with me, the fight was on.
Joyce Meyer: and we would get into these big arguments and I would get so confused. I mean, I would think, "i don't even know what we're talking about anymore. It was a simple thing, how did we get from there to here?" And then I would yell, "we--i can't talk to you. We can't talk about anything." Does anybody recognize that? Okay, I'm about to help you. Free counseling, and all I asked for was a little offering. I'm not even going to send you a bill, you know?
Joyce Meyer: and so, I did not know what my problem was. I mean, I just didn't get it. So, because I didn't know what my problem was, I blamed it on him. And that's what we do a lot. Instead of trying to get to the root of our own problems, we blame everything that doesn't go right on somebody else. I mean, even if you're unhappy, you're sure it's somebody else's fault. They should be making you happy. And it was a big change for me when God told me, "you need to take responsibility for your own happiness. Nobody else can keep you happy, and nobody can make you unhappy if you really don't want to be unhappy." Well, see, we don't like taking personal responsibility. It's far too easy to just blame, blame, blame on everybody else. So, I started praying about what the real problem was, and it didn't take God very long to show me. That's the way he goes. And the essence of what the problem was was I had a root of rejection in my soul from the way I was raised. And until that root was dealt with, the fruit in my life was never going to change. So, when you are a rejection-based person or you're afraid of rejection, if everybody doesn't agree with you, you feel rejected. And so, if dave and I were trying to have a conversation, if he didn't agree with me, then I didn't know how to separate who I was from my opinion. And so, I had to learn that just because he disagreed with my opinion didn't mean he was rejecting me. He could reject my opinion and still love me. And that was such a major thing to me. So, maybe you need to think about that. If you can't seem to talk to people or a certain person without blowing up in anger all the time, then ask God to help you get to the root of it. And maybe ask God, "do I have a," you know, "how do I feel when somebody disagrees with me? Do I feel insulted? Do I feel like they think I'm stupid? Do I feel like they don't respect me? Do I feel like I'm being rejected?" And learn how to be a person in Christ who is loved and valued, and separate that from what you think and what you do and all those other more exterior things. Does anybody in the building think that maybe you're still dealing with a little root of rejection in your life?
Joyce Meyer: that was a lot of people, but you know, if you stick around, we'll have something for everybody. Roots. Where there's rotten fruit, there's a rotten root somewhere along the line. And sometimes you got to go before the Lord and say, "i don't care if you have to completely tear my life apart, I want to get to the bottom, to the root of why I'm angry, why I get so angry. Why do I get mad every time I don't get my way? Why are my emotions out of control? Why do I waste so many days in self-pity?" Amen? Matthew 12:33 says that if the tree is rotten and diseased, then the fruit will be rotten and diseased. "either make the tree sound healthy and good and its fruit sound healthy and good, or make the tree rotten, diseased, and bad and its fruit rotten, diseased, and bad. For the tree is known and recognized and judged by its fruit." As believers in Christ, we're not recognized by our bumper sticker. You can put the biggest, most sparkly cross around your neck that you can buy in any store. And to be honest, that doesn't tell me anything about anybody anymore. I used to think that meant something, but i've learned that you got to be a good fruit inspector, amen? Now, my mother had emotional illness. She actually had a nervous breakdown, took shock treatments for 2 years because that's what they did with people back in those days, and it was just bad. Now, she had a situation that was far to the extreme, but the root of her problem was she spent years avoiding dealing with what my father was doing to me, even though she knew it and had actually caught him. You cannot avoid your problems. Buried things will eat you alive. Our secrets make us sick, amen? And so, that's why it's good to talk to God openly about everything in your life, and if need be to talk to someone else. She also was overloaded with guilt all of her life because she didn't deal with what she should've dealt with. And so, guilt can even make you emotionally ill. If you would ever go to a mental institution, which i've done as part of ministry years and years ago, we would go try to visit the people, and it was amazing to me how many people walked around in almost a catatonic state. And most of them were saying--well, not most, but many of them were saying, "it's all my fault. It was all my fault. It was all my fault." So, I'm telling you, going around with guilt all the time is not the way God wants you to live. When you do something wrong, you need to repent, ask God to forgive you, and then let go of what lies behind and press on. And if you have problems in your life, now listen to me, if you have problems in your life that you're trying to avoid and you're not dealing with them, they are going to just keep hurting you until you get the courage you need from the holy ghost to face these things and deal with them.
Joyce Meyer: my mother let my dad abuse her, he would go out and drink, he would come home and beat her up. And she'd get up the next morning and cook his breakfast, and I wanted to throw up. And I came out of that thinking, "nobody is ever going to push me around again." And so, I had a bad attitude that had to be corrected by God. Yeah, come on, some of you are feeling me out there, you get it. "Nobody's going to tell me what to do again. Nobody's ever going to push me around." The problem for me was then that I was so out of balance that if anybody even wanted me to do anything that I didn't want to do, right away I thought they were trying to control me, and all my walls went up. Come on. You know, we'll say sometimes, "well, you're just a control freak." Well, you know, it's very possible that they've got wounds in their past, and they're literally just trying to protect themselves from getting hurt again, and so people feel like--i felt like if I didn't work really hard to keep everything in my life and it's where I knew everything that was going to happen, that somebody was going to take advantage of me. Can I tell you something today? And I don't want you to forget this, hurting people hurt people. And so many of the people that we deal with in the world that we judge and criticize and shut out of our lives, they have been hurt and now they're hurting somebody else. Now, that doesn't mean that you have to stay in relationship with somebody that is abusing you and hurting you. My mother should have gotten away from my father. She did not do the right thing for her, for myself, or my brother, who ended up several years ago committing suicide because of all the terrible things that had gone on in our family that nobody ever dealt with properly. But just because you have to get away from somebody physically doesn't mean that you can't pray for them and trust God for them to change. And it doesn't mean that you even have to say a lot of bad things about them.
Joyce Meyer: so many people are hurting inside. And boy, we are great in the church world about coming together and wearing our church face, and man, we are always, "I'm fine, praise the Lord." And if you are, I think that's great. But if you're not, be honest. Church is just a hospital for a bunch of messed up, wounded people.
Joyce Meyer: and if we'll just quit pretending that we're all okay all the time--i mean, even leaders sometimes have got serious problems, and they especially don't know who they can talk to because, boy, then they're really going to be judged and criticized. And what we don't need is a bunch of wounded healers. We need people in leadership to really get their issues straightened out with God because the blind can't lead the blind. And I'll tell you, I still got issues and problems, but I'll tell you one thing, if I do, I'll tell you. And when I tell you what Jesus can do for you, I'm telling you because he's done it for me. And many times--many times when I teach, all you're doing is eating off my plate. It's what God has fed me first, and you're getting it firsthand. So, I want to talk to you for a little bit this morning about the roots of your being being planted deep in a knowledge that God loves you, and that he loves you unconditionally. God is love. It's not just something that he does. He doesn't turn it on and off, it's who he is. God is love. He doesn't like everything we do, he probably despises some of the things we do, but you have to learn to separate your who from your do. I have four children, I always love them. But boy, sometimes. How many of you feel what I'm saying? I don't even need to go any further, amen? You need to know that you are loved and that you are valuable. And I know you didn't all get to hear john mcfadden's testimony on thursday night, but if I can just give you a quick download, he was a man who had an alcoholic mother, his father died when he was young. Is that correct or did he leave the home? He left. Was left with an alcoholic mother who was violent, had a brother, they were told all the time they were trash. The one brother was--mother actually packed up his stuff, took him outside, and sat him in the trash and said, "you're trash, and if your father doesn't come and get you, then the trashmen can take you away." And she threatened him all the time, "I'm going to put you in the trash. I'm going to put you in the trash." Finally, when he was 14, she ran him off, and he was left as a 14-year-old to try to fend for himself. Well, because he felt like he was trash, he went in to the cycle that I'm going to talk to you about here in a minute that I was in and many of you were in, of trying to prove by the world's standards that he had worth and value. And so, when the Bible says that Jesus comes to set us free, I'll tell you something, you are not free at all until you no longer feel a need to impress people.
Joyce Meyer: see, you can't even get up and like--i mean, with me, pretty much what you see is what it is. And thank God I got over the need to try to get up here and impress people many years ago because that is exhausting hard work, amen? You can't fall apart when somebody doesn't like you. You can't fall apart if somebody doesn't want you in their life anymore. Don't always assume that you're the one with the problem. Maybe they got a problem. Amen? And so, he just went through all kinds of crazy stuff, and then finally got ahold of the word, and God's been healing him, and now he uses his pain to help other people. And so, I know as I go through this thing that I'm getting ready to go through here, he's going to recognize a lot of this stuff, but many, many, many years ago, somebody that attended my conferences got this little thing from God and wrote it down as a chart, and she's giving us permission to use it. And it's actually called the trickle down theory of conditional love and the trickle down theory of unconditional love. So, what that means is that how you're raised, to be honest, has a lot to do with the rest of your life. And if you were raised wrong, then you have to unlearn some things at the same time you're learning some things. And that's why it's so important to have your mind renewed because when you've been mistreated, you always have a shame-based nature and you feel bad about yourself. And now listen to what I'm going to say, and I say this all the time, but this is the morning to say it again. If you don't love yourself and value yourself, there is nothing else in your life that's going to be enjoyable or in the right order. How do you feel about yourself? How do you think about yourself? How do you think about how other people think about you? What kind of a relationship do you have with yourself? You're one person you're never going to get away from. Because everywhere you go, there you are. "oops, it's me again."
Joyce Meyer: and I think we don't--we don't even think about our relationship with ourself. You can't love somebody else if you don't love yourself. You can't get along with somebody else if you don't get along with yourself. And so, when you don't love yourself, when you don't know that God loves you unconditionally and that you're in a healing process in your life and that, although you're not where you need to be, thank God you're growing, you're not where you used to be, you can enjoy the journey.
Joyce Meyer: and the good news is we're loved, and we're probably not even worth being loved apart from Christ. But he loves our lives back from the pit of destruction. My goodness, how good is that? He loves my life back from the pit of destruction. Boy, people need to know that they're loved. And if you can believe that God loves you, then you can begin to love yourself. And when you begin to love yourself, then you can begin to love other people. And you can have healthy, good relationships, and you can enjoy your life. Amen?
Joyce Meyer: well, I'm going to say it again, God loves our lives back from the pit of destruction. Julia experienced that firsthand. She was full of emotional wounds from her abusive childhood. Her inward pain led her on a destructive path of self-harm. She was in and out of psychiatric hospitals with no hope of recovery, but God did an amazing work in her heart and mind. Watch this story of her healing journey and I'll be back with a final thought right after this.
Julia: my childhood was pretty chaotic. I never had a relationship with my father, I never knew him, and so my mom raised me by herself. And my mom was physically and verbally abusive towards me throughout my childhood. So, I had a really chaotic home life. My mom was a Christian when she raised me, but because she was representing a Christian, I felt very angry towards God. I experienced sexual abuse on numerous occasions throughout my childhood, for the first time when I was 4 years old, and then numerous times after that. At a very young age, I started struggling with an eating disorder. I think it was to try and control something because I felt like everything else in my life was out of control. I had so much pain on the inside that I didn't know how to express in any sort of words, and so cutting was a way to release that pain. But then immediately, I would be filled up with so much shame and guilt, it was like a cloud of darkness would just come over me. I found cocaine and crystal meth, and was drinking by myself heavily, and was in and out of drug rehabs and psychiatric hospitals, where I was put on numerous medications and diagnosed with all kinds of mental illness. And i've been in handcuffs, I've been strapped down, I've been in straitjackets. I mean, stuff you see in movies, I lived that. Every day, I thought about dying and thought of ways to kill myself. And I just remember, like, crying out to God and just asking like, "are you going to help me? Because I have absolutely no hope." Finally, after another drug relapse, I had reached my rock bottom, and I heard God say to me, "are you done running?"
Melanie: she needed to make the choice of, is she was going to deal with the root issues so that she could be the person that she wanted to be.
Julia: I didn't realize that I was rebellious and defiant until I had conversations with so many of the staff here that were willing to tell me the truth. They were very direct and bold in their conversations with me, but it was all wrapped in love.
Melanie: she was able to really look at what was causing her to act the way she did. And so, at that point, she really began renewing her mind.
Julia: it was the first time that I read and was taught to write out scriptures and truths that I could speak out loud to renew my mind, and line my thought life up with the word of God. And once I did that, I experienced so much freedom in my thoughts. I mean, I was tormented daily. And to have that discipline has been life-changing for me. So many of us have dealt with toxic thinking and lies, but if we don't know that they're lies, we're just going to continue to accept them. And so, "battlefield of the mind" does a great job of pointing out what thoughts are from the enemy, and then what thoughts are from God and are based on his word. My heart was healed here, and my mind was healed, and I learned a relationship with Jesus and what that looks like. And that's been the thing that has sustained me all these years is the relationship with Jesus. Jesus can set anyone free. Any issue, any problem, he can set you free, and so we just have to be willing to do the work. My mom has gone through her own healing journey, and we've been able to heal individually and then also together in our relationship. God has brought other young women into my life who are dealing with very similar issues that i've dealt with, and i've been able to walk alongside them very closely, and share my story, and share about Jesus, and just go through the journey with them. Thank you to all the Joyce Meyer ministries partners because your giving helped save my life. And my life is one example of hundreds of thousands of lives that have been transformed.
Joyce Meyer: well, what God did for julia, he can and will do for you. You know, we need to be rooted and grounded in the love of God. And when we are, then things begin to change for us dramatically. Not only do we begin to know that God loves us, but we're able to let that love flow through us to other people. You know, God wants us to be healthy in every area of our lives, spirit, soul, and body. Today, we're offering you 4 teachings, that's over 4 hours of teaching about healthy living. And I believe you're really going to enjoy it. And also, a healthy living journal, it's a nice journal that you can keep a record of your healing journey in. And there's also scriptures in there to encourage you all along the way. Why don't you just get on a course to make sure that you're healthy in every area of your life? Now, I want you to remember that God has a good plan for your life, and if you're willing to cooperate with him, you are going to see lots of great changes. God bless you.
Announcer: every person is composed of three parts: spirit, soul, and body. God not only cares about your spiritual health, but wants you to thrive in every area of your life. Joyce Meyer's four-audio teaching series, "healthy living: spirit, soul, and body," will inspire you to establish new habits that lead to a healthier, happier way of life.
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Announcer: it's not too late. With God's help, you can make choices today that lead you into a healthy, balanced life. We're also offering Joyce Meyer's "healthy living" journal. This will assist you with practical steps to live the balanced life God created you to live. Make it fun and reward yourself with these helpful tools. You can get this "healthy life" package for a donation of... Call... Or visit us at joycemeyer.org.
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