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I’m so glad that the blood of Jesus cancelled all. Return to sender. He’s so good. And so, the bible became the first book that I could understand at all. And it was so crazy. Lots of you, all of you know my testimony and if you don’t, I was really lost and now I’m absolutely found. I was completely blind and I really see. I was dead and alive, but dead, but alive. It’s so good. But, when I was in Teen Challenge I read a scripture in James. You know, I got shot at in a drug deal - radical encounter with salvation. A voice that said, “I took those bullets for you. Are you ready to live for me yet?” Ten feet away, none of the bullets hit my car. It was the end of 22 years of drug addiction. The last time I actually ripped off a dealer was that night and I should have died for it. And God spared my life. Not so I could live for me, but so that I could just give everything to Him. You know God’s not asking for much. He’s asking you to give up something you were never created to be so that you can become who He says you are. It’s really not that much. I mean mercy woke us up today so that love gave us one more day to manifest Him and not us.

And it’s so good. I don’t know, that right there to me, when I woke up this morning and the Holy Spirit was right there in my face saying, “Come on! Its time, come on, come on, come on!” That’s exciting to me. My wife says I have two speeds, high and off. We can be carrying on a conversation and in six seconds, I’m out. And then I wake up in the morning and I’m like, “Hey, hey guess what?” “Shh shh shh” “No, no, no, okay” Shh shh shh And then I go out and I put on my headphones so that I can’t hear anything out there. And I just cry out. Sometimes I, sometimes I wake people up. But, I try not to wake people up. I just am in love with Jesus and I’m possessed by His love for me. I’m fascinated. I’m fascinated that I can wake up and love with Him. But, He doesn’t just love me I am actively being loved by my Father. It’s been this revelation for 13 years that I haven’t been in condemnation or guilt or shame.

I just believe the simple gospel. And when the enemy whispers, I don’t rebuke him, I just thank God for who I really am. I really am so serious. I don’t know why it’s complicated. The only reason it is is because we don’t know the Shepherd's voice. Because when you know the strangers, and you’re commanded not to follow it. When it speaks there’s a no vacancy sign on your forehead. There’s no room at the inn. Like, I’m for real. I’m serious. So it’s knowing that we’ve been given the mind of Christ and filling our mind with the truth of what God says. Not just with everything that we can find on it, but with the word itself. Because the word is not meant for your brain, it’s meant for your heart. And so I was really in, because I’ve got just a little brain and a big heart and I’m good. It’s not complicated. If you have a big brain, you have to have a bigger heart. Because it’s not about our big head or how awesome we are.

It’s about how amazing He is and He created (us) in the image of amazing. We were created and it’s just awesome. You know the bible doesn’t say, “Deny the devil. Pick up your cross and follow Him.” It says to deny yourself. It’s so crazy because the first scripture that ever opened up to me at Teen Challenge was in James. I was a month and a half in and every morning I would wake up. I mean I lost everything. I had a girlfriend for 9 years 7 and a half-year-old daughter. I told my girl that I would take her out, for 7 years, if she ever left me. And she lived in fear. But, mostly fear that I would take my own life. I lost everything. I mean, I grew up, (I) was raised by the Masons. When I was eleven years old my mom put me in there. I was hooked on porn at eight. I was hooked on drugs at eleven. I was in this place, we didn’t even know, no one knew what it was. Not many people know what it is. I didn’t know what it was.

But it’s the Masonic Organization and I’m in there. And I have no clue. I’d break into the Masonic Temple just to run around and jump on their chairs and stuff. I don’t know that stuff. And I had no idea. I joined the Marines after I got kicked out of there and I went AWOL after boot camp. I ran away to Colorado and I hid up in the mountains. I was living the dream. I was like yeah I’m above the clouds. Serious. I got arrested. Dream over. Got put in jail. Got extradited across the U.S. Got put in the military prison down in Camp Lejeune. I was in the brig and mouthed off so they put me in segregation. I had problems. Everybody else was my problem.

Everybody else. I never took ownership of anything because it was never my fault. It was there’s. It’s what happened in the garden, same thing. So, I’m just messed up. I get out five and a half months, I ran away again. I ran across the U.S. again. I went and hid in the very same place I got arrested at before. Silly. But this time I made it for a whole year. No one caught me. Then I got pulled over by the cops. Then I have five cops with 9-millimeters at my head. Then I get put back in jail. Then they extradite me a second time. Then they put me in military prison again. And I’m sitting in there for about six months and they kicked me out. They weren’t going to let me wait. They gave me a bad conduct discharge. They gave me a big chicken dinner. And that does not look good on any resume’ so I lied, I lied, I lied, I lied. I lied my whole life. I lied my whole life to everyone and everything.

I had to make other people look bad to make me look good. I had to like, it was so crazy, I was like the class clown, the guy, and the focus of attention. I had to draw all attention to me because I had no idea who I was. No clue. And then fast-forward, I met that girl, moved in, all this stuff. Nine years into our relationship, seven and a half year-old daughter. I go out one night, come home and she’s gone. I drove to her step dads to get a rifle. I was going to end my life. On my way to the gun cabinet I flipped open a phone book and it opens to churches. That was not what I was looking for. And I drove to this church as angry as can be and I told this guy a piece of my mind. Do you know that, as a Christian, you don’t have the right to give anybody a piece of your mind? You have to give them His. It’s so amazing. But, if you don’t know His thoughts or His mind, Because we’ve been given the mind of Christ. It’s so crazy. It says, “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of our minds so that we can approve what is and what is not God’s will.” This is and this is not. And all of a sudden like I’m giving this Pastor this and he gives me a piece of God’s mind. And this is what he says, he says, “It’s apparent that you don’t want your life. Why don’t you give it to somebody that does.” And to me I had no idea, like why would someone want my life?

All I’ve done is hurt, steal, kill and destroy. And he said, “Jesus”. I said, “Jesus, I did not come here to hear about Jesus.” He said, “This is a church.” But I was so unchurched and I didn’t understand any of that stuff. And the last place I believed Jesus was at, if He was real, was a church. So he shared the gospel with me. And this is what he shared he said, “Jesus didn’t just die for me because I was so horrible. He paid a price for me because I was worth the blood.” And I said, “What are you talking about?” And he said, “You see the cross isn’t just the revelation of your sin. It’s the revealing of your value.” And to one that was worthless and valueless, that made no sense. But he kept persisting that it was true. I said, “Whatever, if He wants my life He can have it, because I don’t want it. There!” That was my prayer. So now I’ve become a confessing Christian, which Jesus didn’t tell us to be.

So, I went home and I called my daughter and I said, “You need tell mommy that daddy found God.” And she said, “What’s He like, dad?” Seven and a half year old kid. I said, “I don’t know.” Just being honest. And I said, “But this guy, there’s something in his eyes. I have no idea what it is. But I have to find out because he said there’s a God. He said that He’ll change my life and daddy wants to change his life. She said, “That’s great daddy but mommy’s never coming home.” I mean, I had ruined everything and for seven years I had those threats. For most of those years that my daughter can remember mom had her up all night long sitting there, telling her how much of a loser, and a liar (I was) because she wasn’t a Christian. And I was destroying our life. So she kept our daughter up every night telling her, every night I was out on a binge, which was most nights, how much of a liar and loser her daddy was. So crazy. So she kicks and screams and she gets mom to come home. I tell her everything’s going to change. She said, “Now you’re going to be a hypocrite you liar.” It was true. I didn’t want it to be true because I hated hypocrites more than anything.

So, Christianity was my, out of all religions, I hated that one the worst. Because I just saw the most people would talk about God but didn’t live anything like what they talked about one day a week. I didn’t like it. And I know that we know and this isn’t a church of that but I’m telling you it’s the prevalent thing all over the world. If you travel you’ll see. I talk to people everyday all day long about the gospel. Because my greatest heart cry, just today I wake up I said, “God, I need you to make me a better witness because I don’t want people to go to hell. I need you to help me reach people. Help me to be the man that you created me to be. Help me be a man that hears your voice. Help me be a man that represents you. Help me be the husband that you created me to be. Help me to be the father that you created me to be. Because God, without you I’m nothing and I know you’ll never leave me or forsake me. But God, I have to have more of You. You have to do it in my life. I need you. God, please. Here I am. And I know we don’t have to beg Him but He needs to know that I am hungry, hungrier than ever. I need Him.

I need His presence. I need the reality of Him upon my life. I need everyone around me, when I’m on an airplane, to tremble and to shake. I need witches to start freaking out when Jesus is on a plane.” And since He lives in me and He’s called me to represent Him, and I’ve been given His mind and the same Holy Spirit that rose Jesus from the dead dwells in me and He wants to quicken my mortal body now, not just when I resurrect. Now! Now! For salvation works itself out in and through me with fear and trembling. I’m in love with Jesus. I’m in love with God and the love of God is profuse and amazing. And what that does to your heart is that it makes you stay in a place of self-control. And self-control, it’s just so amazing. His voice is the dominant voice and every other voice doesn’t matter anymore. I can’t afford to listen to a stranger’s voice. I can’t. He tries to whisper to me. He’s silly. This stranger. You know he tried to bring condemnation to me in the beginning of my life. But, I got taught by this amazing man of God, how to do it. I said to him, I said, “Dude, you’re my spiritual father.”

And he said, “Todd, the bible says ‘call no one on earth your father’.” And I said, “Yeah, but you’re my spiritual father because…” And he was the only who would talk to me, because, just because I was a big case. He said, “Todd if you don’t go into your bedroom and find out who your Father is, you’re in trouble. Because you’ll call me on the phone one day and I won’t be there and you’ll be an orphan on the other line because your dad didn’t answer the phone. But if you find out that you have a connection to your Father, through Jesus, you’ll be able to speak straight to your Father everyday. And you won’t just know that He’s your Father, but He will Father you.” And I’ve got this eternal Father that came to dwell inside of me. It’s amazing. He lives in me. He likes to live in me. I didn’t choose Him. He chose me. There was a day when I said yes. But He said yes way before I did. And He knew me before the foundation of the world. Before my mom and my dad ever came together, He knew that I was going to be here.

And He knew all the junk that I was going to do. He knew it all and He didn’t say, “Nope, that one’s not going to be born.” Not at all, that’s not what God thinks. He’s just pretty awesome. He is. My mom and my dad they weren’t like seeking God. They weren’t Christians. They weren’t like wow - they came together. They weren’t like okay let's have a boy. Let’s try it again. That’s not how it happened see. The way that I came into the world was that my mom looked hot to my dad. They weren’t married. They weren’t thinking let's have a baby. They were thinking lets have sex, because that’s what it is. But there’s the byproduct of sex that comes out and sometimes kids are born. And all of a sudden, parents are overwhelmed with circumstances. And the problem is that we allow a mom whose identity is wrapped up in her pain, lack, suffering and she has no idea who she is. All of a sudden we allow her voice to speak louder than God’s voice. And tell me who I’m not when God is trying to tell me who I am. So on the night of conception, let me just break it down for you. My favorite book is purity that you did.

The ring wrecked me I could hardly function. Hardly function. Because I believe that God wants to do something in the body of Christ. I believe He wants to restore purity to the body of Christ. Oh no. It’s like, and it’s not something like we’ve got to be pure. We’ve got to walk the line. You can’t walk the line and be pure. You can’t bite your lip and do good. You’ll chew your lip off your face. You have to be in love with Jesus. Full on. He has to be your everything. He has to be the bread that you eat. He has to be the water that you drink. His blood is the real drink. His body, the bread, is the real food. And unless that’s your very sustenance, you’ll wander around in the wilderness just like the Israelites did. Manna was everyday in front of their tent and they had no idea that that was it. Right there. That was it. And Jesus was the bread that came down from heaven.

And everyday He was everything for them. But, they were out there selfish. And so grumbling, complaining, and when’s my time, and when’s it going to happen, when’s my day going to happen? And it already happened. There’s manna right there. Right there. Eleven days it would have taken. But it took forty years. And even the ones that grumbled died there and never made it in. Don’t say this is a Joshua generation because you’ll die where you are. It’s everybody running together as one. But Jesus has to be heavens final answer is Jesus. Jesus And pastor, the fathers thought they were spoken to by the prophets. But in these last days, God has spoken. He has, he has spoken to us by His Son. Jesus is heavens answer. And without relationship with that Jesus, there’s no possible way for you to function. And there is bread everyday.

There is food everyday. His name is Jesus. You need to eat Jesus. Sleep Jesus. Breathe Jesus. Drink Jesus Live Jesus. Heavens provided everything for you. You know, the Israelites, their in this wilderness. They are out there. And their grumbling and complaining and they died there. So, if you would say that you’re in a wilderness, the only wilderness you’re really allowed to be in is the one that Jesus went in. And He came out in the Holy Ghost and power. But He wasn’t in there complaining. He went into that wilderness selfless and He came out in the Holy Ghost and power. And He went about doing good and He healed everybody that was oppressed by hell - so powerful and amazing and beautiful. What a King. And He chose to come live in you. Greater love has nobody than this. When I find this out, I’ll lay my life down. Everyday. Everyday. So, that’s my mom and dad. Are you ready? So on the night of conception when my dad and my mom came together. They weren’t thinking let’s have a Todd. They weren’t. Children are a gift from heaven but if parents don’t know who they are it’s a bummer for them.

But you can’t afford to allow their bummer for them to influence the reality of who you were created to be. We have this thing up there called rejection and rejection and rejection. The only reason that we live in rejection is because you don’t understand that we have been accepted in the Beloved. And if we’ve been accepted in the Beloved, how can a man, a woman a child, a co-worker ever take away what they never gave you? I didn’t get my identity from my natural father. I got my identity from my heavenly Father. But if I don’t grow in that and grow in the knowledge of the Lord, in the Spirit of wisdom, and revelation and the knowledge of Him, I will live as a mere man and I will think like hell heading to heaven. And I’ll hope I make it in by the skin of my teeth. And praise God I hope you don’t have skin on your teeth. Mom and dad came together and all of a sudden in a birth canal there’s eighty million chances of me. Do you get it? Could be millions more or less, probably more. But let’s just say eighty million chances of me headed for the egg. And everybody else is faster than me because I’m the slow one. I’m the one that lags behind. And I’m back there and all of a sudden I look up. I get close to the pack. And right around this egg there’s all these little dudes. Did you guys see Nemo? Little dude All these little dudes trying to get in. They’ve got jackhammers and sledge hammers and saws trying to get in. Boom! Boom! Natural instinct. Get out of my way. Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom! We’re talking millions right at the end. And I’m coming up like I don’t know what’s going on but something’s pushing me forward.

I don’t, I don’t know what’s happening. And then all of a sudden - right inside the egg, with no tool, with no hammer, with nothing. And I’m in there wondering what just happened. But, all of a sudden my voice, which hasn’t been trained by the world, says, “Sorry guys! I was predestined before the foundation of the world.” But unfortunately we don’t think like that because we allow life to potter us, circumstances to mold us, instead of the word of God. Because the Truth of who God says you are crushes everything. I don’t care who’s against me. God is for me. He is for me and He is an amazing Father. He’s a good, good Father. That’s who You are. That’s who I should write that one. I am loved by Him, that’s who I am. This is what it boils down to and this is what I’ve believed for thirteen years. He’s a good, good Father. He’s a good, good Father. And I’m no longer a slave to fear. Cause I am a child of God. I’m no longer a slave to fear. Cause I am a child of God. From my mother’s womb He has chosen me. Predestined before the foundation of the world. Love has called my name. I’ve been born again. Wait wait. Let me do it again. Here’s darkness over here. I’ve been born again. See you natural mom and natural dad. It didn’t work well that way, but now I know why I’m here. Into a family. Whoa, wait a minute. What was that? That was love. What did you say? It was love. Love has called my name. Thank you Jesus. I’m no longer a slave to fear. Cause I am a child of God. I’m no longer a slave to fear. Cause I am a child of God. That’s it. That’s really it. That’s it. He said so. But if anything else comes to dominate what God says you’re in trouble. And there are so many theories that are trying to compete for your soul, so much stuff. Listen, your spirit, man, craves the bread of God. Your spirit, man, craves Jesus. He craves Jesus. And once you’ve feasted upon the bread, upon the word, and upon the Truth, then the theories of man, you have no appetite for the theories of man anymore. And it doesn’t matter what people say because you’re possessed by love itself. God doesn’t say, “I love you.

Come on, say it back.” We’re trained that way. Trained to have to need it back. A lot of times people say I love you, not because they love you, but because they need to hear it back so they can feel okay about saying it first. That’s not our Father. He just says, “I love you.” Period. And when you see that, as He is, we become like Him. Then as you think in your heart so are you. If anybody says that they were to abide in Him he ought walk just as He walked. I don’t know about you but that excites me. I get to walk like Jesus walked. This is crazy, ridiculous and amazing all together. Like, it’s absurd, It’s absolutely crazy. I was listening to your message today on grace. I was sitting here, like I wanted to come up and grab tools, man. I’m so excited. I’m like, He’s asking for the other tool. No, no, no that’s not it. That’s the other one. You weren’t here to get it. It was really good. We can’t afford to be so weighed down with tools that our tool belt is sagging. We have to know the One that helps us use it. They are all available. You can have as much of God as you want. It’s not like, I must decrease and He must increase. It’s like He wants to cover all of me with all of Him. That’s so good. He wants to put me on like a glove. I love that. I can walk into a place, I get on a plane and sit beside a guy, and I have so many. It’s so crazy. I mean ridiculous. Crazy. I sit beside a guy and I go “Hey, how are you doing?” “Okay” He’s a business guy. He looks at me like that and he’s got a devil. And it’s a bummer for him. I’m not intimidated. It’s like; I’m never going to die. I’m just going to go be with Jesus. So, I’m really not preaching some weird thing. It says that to live is Christ and to die is gain. So why would I be afraid of gain? You know Jesus doesn’t just want some of you He wants all of you. And it’s not about being here on a pulpit. It’s about your life becoming one. It’s about everything you do and everything say whether in word or deed, everything as unto the Lord and not for people. You do it unto God. You’re working for the Man. Seated at the right hand. Oh yes, Lord. Like I showed up for service – flipping burgers. Yes, Lord. In and Out Oh yeah! It’s such an honor. This is my beautiful bride, Jackie. Stand up girl. She’s my best friend in the whole world, besides Jesus. I need to move or I won’t get done, ever. Are you guys okay? So many different things, I’ll get there. I’m listening to my heart. There is great increase - great increase available. When I came here I just felt such an amazing, crazy hunger, crazy hunger, crazy. I’m so thankful for that. So, I just want you to know you won’t go away without the increase that you came for. Okay, I just wanted to share that alright? Okay. It sounds like a big promise but I can’t fulfill it. He would have to do that. So, I set God up. But if He told me to say it, then it’s okay. It’s saying stuff He didn’t’ tell you to say.

So this guy is squirming. And I say, “Hey, I just have to tell you that Jesus loves you so much.” He goes, “No, no, no, no.” He’s a grown man. His family is on the other side of the isle. I’m sitting here. “Please just leave me alone, not again.” Meaning somebody else, some other Christian sat beside him before. I said to him, “Jesus loves you so much.” “Please stop.” He puts his book up, right here. I start sharing the goodness of God with him. “Please” I said, “Man, one day, one day, one day you are going to bow before my King. It should be before you meet Him on that day.” “Please stop, please, please, please, please.” I said, “Father, I thank you Jesus have your way.” He’s quiet, no more words done. No more words to say because devils have to shut up. And really, I am so serious. I’m not claiming to be anything, I just, my Dad is amazing. He’s way more interested in this It’s a great word today. Chris brought a great word too. I loved that, man. He’s way ahead, way ahead. And He’s way more interested than I am about this. He cares way more about this than I do. And I care with everything I am. If you didn’t hear it today you should get it I’m Sorry. So, I’m sitting there and he finally taps me and says, “Sir.” I said, “Yeah?” He said, “Can we switch seats?” I said, “Okay.” I said, “But I am going to be ministering to the stewardess’s and bringing Jesus. So, if you want that to happen over your lap then we can do it.” He said, “I just want to sit closer to my wife.” And I’m like, “Oh, sure. Go ahead. Yeah, I’ll get up” “Are you going to be okay?” “Ugh” He sits in the seat. The stewardess comes by.

I said, “Hey, how are you doing? Jesus thinks you’re amazing.” “Ugh” You know that one of us is really uncomfortable. Really, I am in love, you see perfect love. You see I have been perfectly loved by Jesus. Like, I dove into what righteousness is and I don’t know it all. But I know that I’m right with God. And that’s all, that’s all I know. But what if that’s all we really need to know? What if we dove into the reality of right standing? What if Jesus who knew no sin, ever, never sinned once, never ever, He did it all for me? And He became sin. The One that knew no sin became sin so that I could become something. But what if I don’t know what I’ve become? If I don’t know who I’ve become I’ll still be striving to try to enter in. And I’ll try to enter in by my works and we won’t think it’s works but it is. See you can’t get in there that way. There’s no possible way for you to get in there. The only way to get in is to believe the gospel. You have to believe the simplicity of the gospel. You have to believe the simple cross the simple message of Jesus Christ and Him crucified. He was crucified for my offenses.

But and He nailed the devil, right hook, Boom. And the devil got a little bit like punch drunk but he shook it off. He said, “Tack Him on a tree. Tack Him on a tree.” He was crucified for my offenses. He got the right hook. And then Jesus died he thought he won. Boom. Crucified for my offenses. But then all of a sudden here comes the upper cut. This is the one that sent Him down. This is the one that knocked Him out. See the devil thinks he won. See He was crucified for my offenses. Are you with me? Romans 4:25 Yeah? And then He was raised for my justification. That one right there was the blow. See hell thought that they had victory because they killed our King. Boy, the devil had no idea. See if he had known that when Jesus said, “Unless a seed falls into the ground and dies it abides alone.” But he didn’t catch that one because all the devil knows how to do is steal, kill and destroy. Isn’t it amazing that in Jesus’s life you see He gets baptized in the river Jordan and for the last three and a half years of His life the devil's trying to get Him. He’s trying to get Him. And Jesus is like Uh. And he tries to get Him again. Uh Then he slips right in from the mist and they try to kill Him. His first message Jesus preached, the first message, I mean the Son of God, He said, “This scripture is fulfilled today.” The are like, “What?” Who is this guy? Let’s throw Him off a cliff. His first time out of the gate. Your first preach. How’d you do? Well, they took me to the edge of a cliff. The devil couldn’t take Him out. He couldn’t take Him out. The enemy tried, couldn’t, couldn’t, couldn’t, couldn’t. But then there was that time. Don’t you think it would have been weird for the enemy? Because you see he couldn’t do it then all of a sudden Jesus is letting them rip His beard out. Ripp, and all of hell. Because man, when the enemy knew he could touch Jesus it was full on, full on. You know Jesus is hanging there on a tree. It’s so ridiculous and the devil thinks he won. And when you see Him there you don’t really see Him there. You know what I’m saying? Because when you see Him you can’t really recognize Him. The bible said He was unrecognizable. He was completely marred beyond any man. His flesh was ripped apart. He was marred beyond any man ever. You couldn’t recognize Him. The Passion did a great job but He was still recognizable on the tree in the movie. A lot of people say, “I can’t watch that, it’s just too gross.” You need to tape your eyelids open and watch that. And stop singing that song, “I’ll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross.” You need to know how much it cost to see your sin upon that cross because that determines how much your worth is to God. The cross isn’t just a revelation of your sin the cross is the revealing of your value. Sin was an issue but something underneath of that sin was of grave importance for Father to go bankrupt to get you back – to come and get you back. So Jesus is marred beyond any man. You can’t even recognize Him. Why was He marred? I know that it is by His stripes we are healed. I get that but it’s more that that. He was marred beyond any man. Why? Because God created us in the beginning in His image and in the likeness of God He made man. Man didn’t look like anything he was created to look like ever. Because see, he took on the very nature of the enemy in the garden so Jesus had become unrecognizable so you and I could become recognizable to the Father again. That’s amazing. Unrecognizable because sin had… So Jesus became… So that we might become Ta Dah! Not because of our own righteousness but because of His righteousness. Not because I’ve earned it but because Jesus paid a price for me to become it. You can’t do to be. You’re not a Do-Be. You’re not. You are a Be Do. It’s not about doing to Be. It’s about being to Do. All of your stuff, all of your life comes out of being right with God and you’re doing is a byproduct of being. See the miraculous is a byproduct of Sonship. It’s the reality of what sons and daughters do. They manifest their Father. I get to manifest my Dad everyday of my life and it’s exciting. Yeah! God chose to live in me. He likes to live here. When I look in the mirror I don’t go “Oh no! I go Whoa, I see You in there.” I cry. I look in my eyes and cry. It’s not arrogant. It’s Godfident. I believe that I am who my Father says I am. What do you believe you are? Come on, Jesus wants to know who you think you are. Who do you think you are? I know He said, “Who do people say I am? Some say this and some say that but yes, who do you think? Who do you believe I am?” Peter said, “You’re the Christ.” You see he had this flash. A lot of people say they can relate to Peter because of this but if you’re relating to Peter you better relate to the right one. Because that Peter wasn’t saved yet Peter wasn’t born again back there. You don’t want to relate to that one or you just need born again. You read 1 Peter and 2 Peter it’s a different man. Why? Because there’s just something different See now he’s met Jesus. The Day Star had risen in Peter’s heart and the prophetic word was confirmed. Just like He heard this is my son in whom I am well pleased. On the day of Pentecost when the Holy Ghost came down. Peter rose up with great boldness because the same Holy Spirit that rose Jesus from the dead was in him and upon him. This man was confident in his salvation and confident that all of his sins and his lawless acts were forgiven. Imagine being Peter trying to get over denying Jesus. The only way for him to get over denying Jesus was to have his pass removed. His pass couldn’t be removed until Jesus was crucified and resurrected. On the day of Pentecost Peter was convicted of the three things that Jesus said the Holy Spirit was coming to do. The Holy Spirit was coming to convict the world of sin because they don’t believe in Him. Peter definitely believed in Him, no doubt. To convict the world of righteousness because He was going to be with His Father Now this is what happened and this is what I believe the body of Christ needs. To be convicted of our righteousness. This is where I live. See I live in conviction. I have lived for thirteen years without guilt, shame or condemnation. People have told me that I can’t preach that. You’re wrong. People have told me that I can’t speak about that, that I’m setting myself up for a fall. You’re wrong. I’m not. I’m believing the Gospel I believe in the Gospel. Jesus said I am forgiven. Who do you think I am to say I’m not? Jesus said He didn’t just forgive it, He forgot it and He’ll never bring it up again because He loves me. So what if I believe the gospel? What if I just believe the simple gospel Truth? What if I believe 2 Corinthians 11? It says, “Oh you bear with me in a little foolishness and indeed you do bear with me. For I am jealous for you with a Godly jealousy.” It is good to be jealous of people with a Godly jealousy. And I am. I am jealous for the body of Christ to step into being normal. That’s it. That’s all I want to do. I want to raise the standard to normal. I’m not going to do it by me preaching at people. I’m going to do it by living my life and believing the Truth and living without guilt, without shame, without condemnation but with massive conviction. I will live my life with massive conviction. When God speaks to me I will jump and it doesn’t matter what it is about. It doesn’t matter. And I’ll know when He’s speaking to me because it will line up with His word. Because God and His Word are one As a matter of fact He’s magnified His Word above His own name. So God thinks pretty highly of His Word. But if you don’t think as highly about His Word as He does, what are we going to do? You can’t just study all these different things. I’m not saying don’t have books. I read them all the time. But if you don’t allow the bible, the Truth of God’s word, you need relationship with the Author because He is the author and finisher of your faith. He is the perfecter of salvation. He is the captain of our salvation. You’ve been enlisted into the army. Everyone that has enlisted into an army wants to please the one that enlisted him. We are not supposed to partake of stuff outside of service. It doesn’t mean it’s legal. This isn’t a legal thing. You can’t, like I said through legalism do the right thing. You have to do by relationship what legalism can’t. Legalism can’t do it. Legalism tries to and it can’t. It tries to put standards and strongholds on people. You need to do this, and do this, and do this, and do this, and do this and you can’t. But when you fall in love with Jesus all of a sudden your conviction that if one died then all died. That those who live should no longer live for himself but for the One who gave Himself for them. All of a sudden you become convicted of your righteousness. I’m right with God. Whoa. I’m right with God. The devil says, “No you’re not.” You say, “Father, thank You so much. I’m right with You.” The devil says, “You’re worthless.” Oh God, thank you that the blood of Jesus has made me worth it. The devil says, “Well, you shouldn’t have done that.” “Father, I thank you that that’s a man that no longer exists. Thank you.” Even if it was yesterday. You say, “Father, I thank You so much that I have repented.” Which means all unrighteousness has been washed off of me and I stand before you right.

And I can boldly approach the throne of grace in time of need. And when’s the last time you didn’t need Jesus? So why not live in the throne room and live in His presence and live in His goodness, and live in His mercy, and live believing the Truth. Let the truth set you free. Just be free. Because who the Son sets free is free indeed. It doesn’t matter if people say you can’t be free. You can be free. It happens in your bedroom on your knees with your bible. And you fill your soul with the Truth. So, I am jealous for people with a Godly jealousy. Why? Because we have been betrothed. We’ve been set up with one husband. It’s amazing He talks about husband in Romans 7. He refers to it. By the husband and wife and if the husband dies the wife is released. He’s talking about the law. The husband dies she’s released from him. And He goes into that. Romans 7 isn’t a confusion. Romans 7 is telling people if you’re trying to do it in your own strength you’re going to fall short. If you’re dead in Romans 6, how can you be alive in Romans 7? I didn’t get it? But I just wanted to go there. That’s a whole different thing. Such demonic strategies set up to tell the body of Christ who their not. Don’t listen to every voice. You need to be a voice, not an echo. The only way that happens is if you need to hear His voice for yourself. Because God only made one of you and each one of you is fearfully and wonderfully made. God knows every hair on your head - even this. He has more thoughts for me than outnumber the grains of sand in the whole world and every thought is for my welfare. Wouldn’t it be a shame if you didn’t know any of His thoughts? How horrible would that be if you didn’t know five of His thoughts for you? You know what five of His thoughts could do for you if you thought about them all day long? It would change your life. Just the one thought that God so loved the world that He gave His only beloved Son so that whoever would believe in Him would believe. Believe means absolutely convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt. It actually gives an example of a house with no empty rooms. It does, for the word believe. So your house has no empty rooms because it’s occupied by Truth. When the Spirit of Truth comes, He will guide you into all Truth. All Truth, not some Truth. It’s not, “This little light of mine.” It’s not. You are a blazing inferno. You are a flamethrower. Let me ask you this… If someone’s on fire and you put them in the fire, what happens? Nothing. They’re already on fire. Does that make sense? If I put fire in a fire nothing happens because it’s already on fire.

But if I’m trying to get on fire when I’m in the fire I’ll get burnt. But if you’re on fire when you go through the fire you’ll come out and you won’t even smell like smoke. You’ll smell like fire. Ok, that didn’t go over well. It’s alright. I know what it means because I’m in fires all the time. I love them. I’m not afraid of them. Consider it joy when you face these trials. Joy. Yeah, another trial. I consider it amazing because the trials come if need be for the purifying of your faith. So, that stuff comes it’s needed for the purifying of your faith. Actually, for the testing of your faith. To see what you’re made of. You can’t even get to Christian maturity unless you go through them anyway. Don’t try to go another way, it doesn’t happen. Don’t try to avoid the fire - ahhh Be a living sacrifice and just stay there. Trials produce patience. People say, “Well, I hate patience. I don’t like patience. Patience is hard. No patience for me. I’m not reading that again.” You guys want to be perfectly complete lacking nothing? You better let patience have its perfect work in you. That’s how you become perfectly complete lacking nothing. “Well, I don’t like patience.” The reason you don’t like patience is because you don’t like love because the first thing love is patient. I promise. All this stuff I’m spouting out you think, “Boy, he’s in trouble. The devil's after him.” Let him come. I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid. Even if none go with me, I’m going. You know why? Because you can’t stop this. You can’t stop love – pure love. Love that doesn’t expect anything from the person in front of them. Love that doesn’t seek its own. Love that is patient. Love that is kind. I love people, not for what I can get from them. Because I would lay my life down for any of you. And that’s not just boasting or popping off. I’m telling you that I’ve made up my mind. I’ve pushed all my chips to the center of the table and there is no going back. Nobody is going to make me turn around. No situation. No voice. I have determined in my heart to not ever allow sin against me to produce sin within me – ever. It’s not going to happen. I will not palm a harsh word with a harsh word. I will not be upset if someone despitefully uses me. I can’t be. I need to pray for them. That doesn’t mean pray for them “did you hear what they did and all this and all that.” No, no, no. You better be on your knees when no one is looking. And it better turn your heart into a place of real soft, pliable putty so that you can stand there before your Father, lift the person up before the throne and say, “Father, I thank You.” It’s very important. I’ve lived that way and I’ve gone through so much stuff. Do you think that this brings none? Do you have any idea what an epidemic this is? This care? It’s my fishing lure. How many of you saw Avatar? See the movie Avatar? Remember this? Okay, for those of you who didn’t, don’t watch it. Sorry, I’m like ADD in the Spirit. Like what’s next? I was telling them earlier this is what I do: I’m a seed sowing sheep. That’s it. I fill myself with the Truth. I get on my knees before God and say, “Make me become what this word says, God. Don’t let me just read this. Because if I just read this it doesn’t become who I am. I’m going to be me and people don’t want me they want You. God I’m asking You to help me. Help me. I need to be the best witness You created me to become. Help me speak through You.

Use me today. Use me. Speak through me. Let me reach people today, God. Help me. Help me, Jesus. Please God I need your help. Father, I thank You. Your Word says my life has been transformed. God, it’s all in Your Word. Your Word. Your Word. Your Word. Your Word. God it says that. It says, God, “You have desired to send me.” You’ve betrothed me to one husband. That I might be presented as a chased virgin to Christ. As a chased virgin. One that’s never slept with the world before. One that’s never been with the world before. One whose mind is completely free from debris. The way that seems right to a man has been washed away. Because the blood of Jesus has cleansed my conscience from dead works in order to serve God. Father, fill this conscience with the Truth of who You say I am. God, I will live with the conviction and when You speak I’ll do it God. When You speak I’ll jump. I won’t hesitate, not even a partial hesitation. God, I don’t want to be 98% pure. I wouldn’t drink water that had a label on it that says 98% pure. That’s silly. No, it’s 100 or none. It’s for or against. It’s gather or scatter. God’s just looking for full surrender. He’s not looking for compromise. He’s not looking for it. Man, you’re letting the enemy just gain ground in your life by compromising. This is not 95/5. No, your 95 becomes 90, your 90 becomes 85, before you know it your straddling the fence. It’s not okay. There was an atheist who had a dream and on the one side of this field there were all these people. And all these people that were walking around with the enemy. They were walking around with the devil. They didn’t have pointy ears and a pitchfork. He was actually attractive. But, he knew it wasn’t the other one because on the other side of the fence there was Jesus. And he was walking around and there were all these people with Him. This atheist has this dream. And all of a sudden there was this fence in the middle and he can’t make a decision. He jumps up on this fence and stands there. And all of a sudden everybody disappears - everybody disappears. Just making sure you’re listening. I said it twice. Everybody, their gone. The man’s like, “What is going on?” Then all of a sudden the devil pops back into the picture and said, “There you are. I was looking for you.” And the man said, “Hey, I didn’t choose Him and I definitely didn’t choose you.” He said, “Sure you did, the fence is mine.” It’s really true. See Jesus said, “I wish that you were either cold or hot.” Cold or hot? I struggled with that because I don’t get it. I didn’t get it. I get born again and I read this scripture. I’m like, “Okay, cold or hot, that is so crazy.” I was so out there. I mean so out there. Then I see people and at least they are going to church. I didn’t understand what the difference was. God said, “Todd, I can switch you like a light switch cold to hot but you have to believe the finished work of Christ. You have to believe that I did it all and that your job is to learn what I did. But you are to learn from me.” Jesus said, “All of you that are worried and burdened and weighed down by life come to Me and I will give you rest.” He didn’t tell you to rest then and stay there. Because there is a continued scripture. He said, “Come to me and I will give you rest. All of you who work to exhaustion come to me and I will give you rest.” Then He said, “Now take my yoke upon you and learn from Me. Take my yoke upon you. My yoke is easy and my burden is light. For I am meek and lowly and you will find rest for your soul.” The only way to find soul rest isn’t when you get born again. When you get born again you get that initial rest where there’s – No more shackles. No more chains. I am free to run. Then you go out of the church. I need to go back there because I can’t run out here. You can if you get on your knees - it’s easier to run. I promise you. All of a sudden God starts to speak to you and He starts to pour identity into you. He starts to pour His Truth into your soul. Then Jesus is no longer a crutch. He’s the anchor. He’s the anchor of your soul. He’s immovable. He doesn’t move. He’s steadfast. But without the power of the blood, this: What can wash away my sins? (Crowd sings) Nothing but the blood of Jesus. What can make me whole again? (Crowd sings) Nothing but the blood of Jesus. How precious is the flow that makes me white as snow.

No other fountain I know. (Crowd sings) Nothing but the blood of Jesus. Without that right there, without a reality and a revelation in the finished work of Christ and what He’s done, you will never get to a place of finding rest for your soul. Because rest for your soul comes when the finished work of Christ hits this. And all of a sudden God starts to fill you with His mind for you and His thoughts for you that outnumber the grains of sand. See, if you fill your mind with five thoughts it would possess you. If you filled it with 10 overcome If you filled it with 20 it would overwhelm you. If you filled it with more it would overtake you. If you fill your soul with what God thinks about you, when the devil whispers to you it’s exposed. It’s exposed. You don’t have to rebuke the devil. You’re not even told to rebuke the devil anyway. You’re not. You’re not told to even listen to him. He’s a stranger’s voice. Jesus said, “The Shepherd's voice I will follow, but the stranger’s I will not. I will not.” You will hear the Shepherd's voice and the stranger’s voice I will not follow. When the stranger whispers you are supposed to know the Truth that sets you free. You are not supposed to rebuke the devil. You are supposed to thank Jesus. You are supposed to eat with Jesus. This is where you step into the place where you are being loved by your Father. You guys alright? Because I am burning. Okay, look here. See that. That’s my baby. Look. See this little guy right here? He was born addicted to heroine. We adopted him. Oh, Oh, Oh. Can I tell you about him? Okay now I’m going to preach. Are you ready? I’m going to talk about the Spirit of adoption. This is where it’s at. When you see the Spirit of adoption, When you see that God has delivered us out of darkness. Let’s go into Ephesians 5. It says, “You were darkness.” It doesn’t say you were a little dark. It didn’t say you kind of have darkness. It doesn’t even say you were in the shade. It doesn’t say you were a little shady. It says, “You were darkness.” You were completely dark. You were darkness itself. You were dark. The bible says in Matthew 6:22 it says The lamp, the eye is the lamp of the body and if your eye is single, your whole body will be full of light. But if the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness? Now understand we have the capacity to house light. But how you house light is how you see. And how you see is how you see Him.

And how you see Him is how you see you. Because as He is, so are we. Are you with me? We have to set our minds on things above and not beneath. So when I was darkness, when I was lost, when I was dead, God took me out of the kingdom of darkness and He placed me into another kingdom. He placed me into the Kingdom of the Son of His love. God does not just tolerate me. God does not just love you and not like you. We teach that in the body and it’s not okay to teach that. It’s not okay to say God loves you but He doesn’t like you. That’s not true. God doesn’t tolerate you. He’s profusely in love with you. If you catch a glimpse of that, which is sometimes in the body of Christ we say, “God loves you but He doesn’t like you.” That’s not biblical. He loves you profusely. He loved you so much that He sent His Son. God knew your life and He sent His Son anyway. He knew how twisted, He knew that I was going to be wrapped in drug addiction. He knew that. He knew it and He still sent His Son for me. In my sin, God said I love him. And if He loved me when I was sinning and against Him and horrible. How much more will He freely give me all things? Why not? Why wouldn’t I just believe the Truth? “Well, I’m just not worthy.” Get over yourself. In your own strength, you’re not. Look, sometimes we get these complexes and we get these issues. And it’s attitude instead of gratitude. It’s not okay. Sometimes we get hurt by this one and this one and this one. Dude, they are not your problem, you are. Get over you. You’re the issue. If someone else hurts you it’s not because it’s them it’s because of you.

There are a lot of people that don’t go to church because of this. They’re offended and they’re hurt. “I don’t want to go to church because I was there and they hurt me. They didn’t notice me quick enough. They didn’t give me the microphone and I had the gift and they didn’t notice me. I’m going somewhere else where they will appreciate me.” Then they go somewhere else and all of a sudden something else is wrong with them. “They got this, let’s see if they love. They don’t love, I see it.” You’re not looking for love. You’re looking for fault. We get offended and we get hurt. It’s all about us and it’s not about Jesus. It’s about us. Me, Me, Me Me, Me, Me Have you seen my gift? Have you seen me function? Give me a pulpit I will set you free. How demonic is that? Look at me. Look what I did. They fell down when I prayed. So stupid. Sorry. When I prayed the devil ran away. Look at me. When the disciples prayed the devils ran away and they weren’t even saved. And they wanted to blow up cities because of it. See who’s first. “Hey, I’m better than them. Lord tell them. Grant us the permission to sit on your right and left. Now, we’re the sons of summer. Do it.” What is that? It’s demonic strategy and that’s what happens when you have power but don’t know you’re adopted. You can move in great gifting and I am all for it. I get to share the heart of Jesus everyday of my life. Somewhere for somebody, everywhere, multiple times. I probably tell me testimony 3, 4, 5 times a day, everyday, everywhere I go. And I love seeing people healed. I love seeing them shake and rattle and get free. But, I love Jesus more than anything in my life. I love it. I love it. I love it. He loves me. Watch this. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me and when I get to the whole way to the other side, other petals have grown out. And they say the same thing forever. I’ve lived this way for thirteen years. Is it possible to live it for fifteen? Yes. Is it possible to let the love of God consume me everyday? To let His burning heart for me, which shows me His burning heart for you. Because when I love God with all my heart, with all my soul, and all of my mind and with all of my weakness Because it’s His strength that enables me to do that. It’s God who wills in and through me to accomplish for His good pleasure. He wants to do it in me. It’s His good pleasure to do it. So, He burns inside of me. See, you can’t love God with all your strength. It’s in your weakness. Your weakness is a magnet for your strength of God. To strengthen yourself in the Lord you can’t strengthen yourself in you. It’s not about, “You’ve got to find what works for you.” What is that? It’s Jesus. “Well, you know, I tried that.” No, you didn’t. “Well, I tried the Word and it didn’t work for me.” No, no, no, no, no. That’s not how it goes. “Well, I tried. I did. I read the word.” You just can’t get it with your brain.

You think you’re so smart and you’re not so smart. You just didn’t read it on your knees. Weeping, crying over the lamb. Seeing who He’s created you to be. God, He really loves us. Oh my. I hope you’re getting something from this. I am. I promise. I am so strengthened. It’s like core training. It is. Righteousness is core training. Because if you’re core is strong everything else functions well. And if Jesus is the chief cornerstone, then we’re the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. If you’re foundation doesn’t have a cornerstone your building can only get so high before it collapses. And you’re falling and you’re done. We don’t need another fall. We don’t need idolatry to end a movement. We don’t. We need the pure in heart that see God. We need somebody that’s so abandon to love itself that their priority is sitting before the master everyday. See that picture right there? See that picture right there? Do you see that? That’s the gospel. That’s my King. And he has dreads. Yes! What if? John the Baptist did. Did you guys see the bible series? See it? They weren’t real but they were dreads. I saw them. Jesus help me. I want to get to my son. So the Spirit of adoption. When we get saved the Spirit of adoption comes. And all of a sudden our Spirit in 1 Corinthians 2 it describes the reality of when we get born again, our spirit the depth of man, our spirit cries out. Then the Spirit reveals the deep things of God. Then all of a sudden our Spirit is linked to the Holy Spirit and we become one Spirit. We’re one Spirit with Him. All of a sudden we’re hooked up to the Father. Now, in the beginning when you read the word and start to get in there, this link isn’t recognized. It’s not. Because it’s not with the natural mind. The carnal mind is at war against God. It’s not revealed to the carnal mind. So we’re trying to get in there with our head We read the bible and I’ve read it in a year. It’s not to be read in a year. Oh my. That scares me, actually. “Ah, I read the bible. The whole year.” Oh, what did you get? “Well...” The word is to be eaten everyday. It’s to be our very sustenance. It’s to be our very, it’s to be our everything. When I get in there I see God’s heart for me. His heart. Oh God, it’s so beautiful. I don’t read the Word so I can preach. I read the Word so I can become what it says. I get in there so I and the Word can become one. Because we already are one. So the Holy Spirit He reveals. He breathes. Hebrews 4:12 says that He divides. The word is sharp, alive and active. He divides my soul from my spirit. He divides the soul from the spirit. He drives this separation between the way that seems right to a man in your soul: your mind, your will and your emotions. He separates this. So your brain doesn’t get it. So when you’re reading your brain’s not getting it. But your Spirit is getting it. And when we start to feed on the bread of God, we start to feed on the Word our Spirit gets the nutrients that it needs. All of a sudden we’re craving the milk of the word. When you start reading it, you’re not really craving it but it’s good. And then we’re craving it some more and it’s better. The we’re craving it some more. The Spirit starts to bubble up things to your brain and it starts to renew your mind. Little bits and pieces at a time. Not so you can just preach it out. It has to bake in the oven for a while. Then it needs to bake and then when it rises and it’s ready it will rise so much that it will rise up here.

Then all of a sudden, a revelation. Oh I’ve got this revelation. It’s so beautiful. So good. I’ve got to tell everybody. And God whispers to you, “Not yet, there’s more.” And all of a sudden there’s more that comes. And for me it’s like a puzzle. Where I’ve got this, and this, and this, and this, and this. And then one day I read one scripture and all of it goes (Vrump) and it comes together. Oh my! And I see it. Oh, it’s so good and I go to share it and I’m like, “Oh where did it go? No!” It’s still got to bake some more. It’s not done. So, it’s the only way I know how to describe it. The Spirit of God, He reveals the deep heart of God, the deep things of God. He reveals it to me, to my spirit. Then all of a sudden my spirit and the Holy Spirit they start to establish this amazing relationship and my body begins to sense that. My flesh begins to sense it. My feelings, my awareness starts to sense it. All of a sudden, the Word of God says it’s alive, sharp and active able to separate, divide and separate, the soul from the spirit. It starts to renew my mind. It divides the joint from the marrow. So the joint and the marrow never touch. For me, that means the Word of God goes cellular and my physical body starts to actually sense the changes that are coming because of the Truth of God’s Word. Actually, it says that the same Holy Spirit that rose Jesus from the dead dwells in me. Romans 8:11 He will quicken my mortal body. Actually, for me that means He’s quickening my flesh, my physical man. It’s pretty amazing. There’s a lot to this and I’ll share it. Because I was a drug addict for 22 years and wasted so many different things like my brain, my lungs, my kidneys, my liver, my everything. I just wasted away everything and Jesus restored every organ in my body. I’m so serious. My lungs, I couldn’t even breathe. I smoked an ounce of weed a week for 22 years straight. I was on all kinds of crack and everything else and Jesus restored me. He restored me because you see if God forgives my sin then He also removes the stain that sin left in my body. It’s so much more that what we’ve allowed it to do. I’ve seen so many scars, cutters, people that cut themselves, I’ve seen them disappear when they find out who they are. You see those scars can’t stay anymore because you’re not the one who put them there anymore. You can think what you want. Maybe you think I’m out of my mind. I might probably be out of yours. That’s okay. I’m going to believe the gospel. No one’s going to stop me because God won’t stop. God won’t. You can try but it’s not going to work. I won’t say anything. I’ll just be in love with Jesus. When you rebuke me and get mad at me, I’ll just cry out my heart for you and when I get alone I’ll just pour my heart out to God and thank Him for who you are. Because He loves you. I’m so serious. You have no idea. I’ve gone through a hammering. And He’s so good because you just come out like a sharper. I’m having a moment. He’s loving me. Hold on. He’s faithful. He’s faithful. Oh no. He’s faithful. I think that’s part of His name, Faithful and True. So, it says that God’s Word is sharp and active, soul and Spirit, joint from the marrow.

He says He judges the thoughts and intents of my heart. So for me, what that means is that God shines a spotlight in my heart on a constant basis. Constantly. Because I put myself on my knees before my Father with the Word, believing that this is the answer. I believe out of everything the answers all lie in here. It doesn’t matter what it is. Every answer in the whole world in every situation, at anytime, anywhere lies in here. Because Jesus has become to us the wisdom of God sanctification and redemption. Jesus is the wisdom of God. And I need His wisdom not mine. Because the wisdom of the world, which I use to live by, is sexual, feeling oriented. It’s full of self-seeking and envy and every evil thing is there. Every evil thing lies in the way that seems right to a man. But the wisdom from above is peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. That’s the wisdom of God and that’s the wisdom I need. So, when I was in the prayer room at Teen Challenge and I cried out to God, I say a scripture that said, “If you lack wisdom, ask God.” And I said, “Oh my God that’s it. I don’t have any wisdom. I’m wisdom less.” I really did. For 30 minutes, “God, I don’t have any wisdom. You have to help me. That’s it. That’s the missing link.” Twenty-two years of addiction, atheism, anger, hatred, all of it. And all of a sudden it’s summed up in just 30-seconds. Ah. It’s the first scripture that ever made sense in my whole life. It’s the first thing I ever read in a book that made sense to me in my whole life – for 34 years -34 years. If you lack wisdom, ask God. “I’m wisdom less. Help me.” I shut the bible. I didn’t read anymore that day. I got up and I celebrated. I don’t have any clue. I don’t have a clue I don’t have a clue, God. I don’t have a clue. I’m wisdom less.” I ran around the room by myself because I got up an hour earlier at Teen Challenge and I would cry out to God, “I don’t have a clue. I don’t have any idea. God, if I don’t get this book I’ll never change. You have to change me. Help me. I lack wisdom. God, Help me.” And it was like the Holy Spirit said, I didn’t hear him say it, but it was like he was saying, “Yes, finally.” And for 34 years he would me. And it took gunshots. Bang, bang, bang, bang Because when I went home that day after praying with that guy I went home and told my daughter, “Daddy found God.” She said, “What’s He like Daddy?” I said, “I don’t know but I met a guy that did.” Mom came home and it was really bad. For the next 5½ months I lived as the biggest hypocrite on the planet. Five and half months later I go out one night. I rip off this drug dealer. He’s in my car. I rip him off.

I’ve got a bunch of coke in my hand. I told him to “get out of the car and put your hands on the hood.” He gets out of the car. I hit the gas. He pulled out a 9 Millimeter and unloaded at me from 10 feet away. And I hear a voice say; “I took those bullets for you. Are you ready to live for Me yet?” I went out of town. I spun out of town. I got out of there and I smoked two eight balls of cocaine that night Even after that happened. And every hit I took that voice killed my buzz all night long. I couldn’t get high. I’m not kidding that was scarier than anything. I’m serious. When you’re an addict – I couldn’t get high. The taste was there it was real. It was from New York City. For real. I pull into my driveway. I shine the flashlight on my car and there’s not one bullet hole in my car from 10-feet away. And fear hit me. Oh my God. Oh my God. And I went to the door. She said, “Get out of my life. I hate you.” I left and went to Teen Challenge. Now I’m up there with nothing. I lost everything. I lost my girl. I lost my daughter. I lost it all. And that scripture opens up to me. It was like, “A whole new world” Right there everything shifted – everything. You’re like, “that guy is crazy.” And I am. I’m in love with Jesus. Everyday all day long - nothing shuts it down. Nothing can shut it down. Oh. I’m going off in my heart right now. I’m going to get to my son in a minute. Okay. Are you guys alright? Okay. So my girlfriend comes out of the house. After I get home from Teen Challenge. Two months, I left. A few days later I had three days when I had encounters with Jesus. It was crazy. He told me to go home with friends and family. I get to my house. I know I can’t live there. When I get to my house my daughter comes running out and she grabs me. And I’m holding my daughter telling her how much I love her. Listen to me. This is the first day of my life that I realized I was a dad. And she was already 7 ½ years old. I have been given the Spirit of adoption and I know my Father. And when I know my Father it enables me to be a father. So, I’m looking at my daughter and my daughter says to me, “Daddy, your eyes.” Because that thing that I saw in Dan had hit me. Because my lamp was ____ and I was full of the love of Jesus. And I held my daughter and told her how sorry I was. She said, “Daddy for what?” I said, “For all of the drugs that daddy did. For all the times that mommy kept you up all night.” And she said, “Daddy, you’re home.” “Honey, daddy can’t stay here. Daddy can’t live here. Daddy ruined everything. I hurt mommy so bad. She said, “Daddy this is your home.” She’s just holding me. And I looked and my girlfriend is coming out of the house and I am ruined.

I ruined her life. I said, “I am so sorry for what I’ve done.” She looks at smiles and me and said, “I know you are. When you went away I gave my life to Jesus. And I lost it. I mean lost it. It was so awesome. The love of God consumed me. The love of God consumed her. And it’s crazy. How can it be? That You my King would die for me? “Amazing love, how could it be? That You my King would die for me?” Oh! Wooh! I’m singing on the backup stage. I’m just kidding. Jeremy can you come up and play? Can you come up and play guitar? I love that man. Chris, you weren’t supposed to leave. I’m going to talk about my son, man. Sometimes I drink a lot of water. Sure. Right there bro? I drink about 3 of those Essential bottles a day. So good. So that day when we decide that we’re going to get married my heart is pounding. I mean it’s pounding. I go and I try to figure out, I try to discern why my heart is pounding and the reason why is because my house is full of pornography and junk and trash and drugs and all that stuff that I didn’t even see before. I mean I knew it was in there before but I didn’t know it was in there before. Like, now I know it’s in there and I’ve got to get it out. I have this thing inside of me that’s trembling my heart: You’ve got to get the house clean. You’ve got to get the house clean. You’ve got to get the house clean. And I know why I’m crying because this stuff is in there. I said, “I’ve got to go inside. I’ve got to go in the house right now, honey. And I’ve got to just clean some stuff out. And she said, “Okay.” So I said to Dan, “Please watch my daughter and my girl I’m going inside. I’ve got to take care of some things.” So I went through with a trash bag through my house. It was the most amazing day of my life. I realized I’m a father. I realized that I have a Father. And the girl that I’d been with for 9 years, and threatened to kill for 7 of those years and we decide we are getting married. We set the date for 4 days later between first and second services because no one was going to come anyway. Because it’s not like I’m going to send invitations out. I ruined everyone’s life. I was a drug addict for all those years.

So I went in with a trash bag and I got all this stuff, all the drugs. And I went to this place where I hid all the pornography and that thing that used to rule my life. It used to rule my life. I used to think that that’s what made me a man. And that did not make me a man. Pornography doesn’t make you a man. That woman doesn’t care about you, nor does she know about you. She’s someone’s daughter. And I went through and I’m scooping up all this stuff. This thing ruled my life from 8-years-old. Eight-years-old, I was addicted to porn. From 8-years-old, that’s horrible. Then 34-years-old, 34-years-old and my eyes are finally open. And I’m throwing it in the bag. I’m tossing it in. Then I go into the back and I’m tossing stuff. In my daughters room on her top shelf I’m getting rid of my bongs, my bowls and my paraphernalia. And God saw it all. You see God saw everything. So, I’m going through and I’m getting rid of everything. And God, my hearts beating all the way through. And I wasn’t getting rid of it because I might use it again. I was getting rid of it because it has nothing to do with me nor me with it. I’m so serious. You’ve got to make a move man. You’ve got to make a move. You can’t just say I’m going to quit and sit there with it in front of you. It’s not okay. When you taste and see that the Lord is good, when you taste and see who you’re Father is, that stuff becomes tasteless in your life. You will be sick of it. You won’t want to have your cake and eat it too. Sugars not good for you anyway. Sugars from the devil It is. Ask David Hoag. I love him so much. I’m getting rid of all my stuff and I know that heaven’s eyes are on me. See that’s what it’s about. I’m in love with God and His eyes are on me all the time. He sees everything. See that word that says He judges the thoughts and intents of your heart? This is what I picture it as… That God, He sits in the theater room of my soul. I want you to picture this. There’s a screen that goes 180 degrees. It’s everything that crosses your mind. And God sits right in there if you let Him. He sits in there and He judges the thoughts and intents of your heart. And what He does is He takes out the things that don’t need to be there. It’s called pruning and clipping and trimming. He’s the gardener. We’re the branches and Jesus is the vine. And anything that doesn’t bear fruit, doesn’t bear enough fruit, He cuts it. It’s called chastisement but it’s actually the discipline or the instruction of the Lord. He likes to do that. He’s a Father. He does it in a fatherly way. He doesn’t do it in a mean way. He’s not trying to beat you or hurt you. He’s trying to inspire you to be the best Jesus that He created you to be. Because He created you to be Christ-like. And He sees it all. And the Holy Spirit, He sits there and is like ‘that’s got to go.’ People are like, “I’m not ready to give that up yet.” No. You really are ready. You really are ready. Because living by massive conviction is everything. It’s everything. And I went through the house and I gathered all this stuff in a trash bag. I took it down my back steps. I took it out to the burn grille. Nobody was watching me but I knew that God’s eyes were on me - His holy fire. His beautiful gaze was on me. And it was like I was doing a pleasing act for the Father. He was taking out the trash. Really taking out the trash. He wants us to have clean hearts. He wants us to be clean. He wants us to be pure in heart so that we can see God. But we can also see God in people. He wants us to point out the good things. He doesn’t want us to point out the trash. It doesn’t take a genius to point out bad things. He wants us to have His heart and His eyes and His mind and His ears. He wants us to hear like He hears and see like He sees. He wants us to speak like He speaks. Legalism won’t fix it but relationship will. And it’s not just “Yeah, you’ve got a relationship with God?” “Yeah, I’m saved.” “Yeah, praise God.” What are you saved from? And if you got saved from something, what did you get saved to? But does the life that you got saved to look like the life you got saved from? Because you’re in the world but not of it and God’s called you to live and come out separate. Come out separate. Come and be separate. Separate yourself from the world. That doesn’t mean don’t associate. That just means that in your heart you have nothing to do with that. You have the heart of Jesus and Jesus He ate with sinners. Why? Because what was in Him would get on them. So, I’m not afraid of being around people that are dark. I need to house light. My eye needs to be single. I need to see my created value and see who my Father is. Because He’s profuse and amazing. So I took it and put it in the burn barrel, smashed it down, put gasoline all on top of it and I lit a trail of gasoline. And this thing went up that day, that day, this day. It burned and when the flames came down I came over to the fire and I worshiped Jesus over my past. And this is no joke. It has never had a voice in my present. I mean never, ever. And four days later we got married and she became my wife. It was amazing and no one was happy except Jesus.

Her mom cried at our wedding and said, “I can’t believe she threw her life away with you.” I said, “That’s okay mom.” “Don’t you call me mom.” Her step-dad said, “You’re a liar and a loser and a blankety, blank, blank, blank, blankety blank, blank, blank.” At my wedding, at the church. I said, “I love you.” He said, “Get away from me.” I said, “Okay, we’ll see.” What does what they say about me have to do with what I think about them? Unless I don’t know who I am. Lots of people get hurt by people in the church they get offended that get hurt, they get wrecked, upset and their going from church to church to church to try to find something. You know you’re not supposed to go to church to find love. You’re supposed to become love and plug in somewhere. Look, if you’ve got a problem with somebody because they hurt you it’s probably because they didn’t know who they were. But you being hurt by it mean that you didn’t know who you were when it came. So which is better? If somebody hurt you it could be because they didn’t know who they were. Maybe it was a leader. Maybe it was a pastor. Maybe it was somebody that hurt you and you were offended by it, offended by it. But you got hurt by somebody that probably didn’t know who they were. But just the fact that it hurt you means that you had no idea who you were when it came. So strengthen yourself in the Lord so that you know who you are the next time it comes. And you can say, “Father forgive them they know not what they do.” Don’t say it to their face. Say it on your knees and pour your heart out to God. You guys okay? Okay. Can you see that? Just a second. Can you zoom in on that? Faster. Faster. This is Ezeriah. Huh! I minister at a church down in West Virginia and the pastor called my wife one day. We have a 20-year-old, an 11-year-old, a 6-year-old and now we have a 16-mos-old and here’s how it happened. The pastor called us, called my wife, I was actually on a trip. And they said, “Hey there’s a little baby that’s in a mama’s belly. She’s been shooting heroin for 20-years. She came into the church. She’s 6-months pregnant.

Would you guys want to adopt?” And my wife said, “Yes.” Because a couple of years earlier we at the church and we say this little 2-year-old girl running around and they said she was a crack baby. And my wife said, “If that would ever happen and we could do that, I think that would be amazing.” So we made the decision back then that if that ever happened. So now it’s happening. So, I’m on a plane. My wife calls me when I hit the ground and she said, “Do you want to do this?” And I said, “Absolutely. 100%. Sure. Yes. Let’s do it.” So, this is high-risk adoption stuff because you know we’ve got a baby that’s born addicted to drugs. So, we go and we meet the mom. Now we’re going to meet the mom. We have to talk to the mom. See it’s different when you adopt a baby from out of the country. Not that it’s any less. Adoption’s amazing but you might never see the parents again. So in this case we’re probably going to see the parents again. And see my heart cares about the soul of this mama. This mama needs to know who she is and she needs to know what she’s doing exactly and I don’t want to talk her into adoption. I want to speak her value and I want to speak into her life to tell her who she is. Because there’s a chance, even though there’s CPS cases and stuff because she was shooting up for 6-months of the baby’s life. In fact, in the town that we adopted out of 4 out of 10 kids are born addicted to heroin – in America. They need to know who they are. So we talked to her. She said, “Absolutely. I’m positive.” So for the next three months we went and did everything that we needed to do and Gosh it was so amazing. So 3-months later our little baby was going to be born so we’re in the hospital. We’re in the other room right over here. And he’s in the other room and she’s getting a cesarean on Father’s Day. Oh my! And I’ve got the spirit of adoption on me and my wife’s got the spirit of adoption on her and it is so powerful because we know who we are. My kids have the spirit of adoption on them too. They know who they are. They know who their Daddy is that’s where it’s at. This is where healthy is. This is healthy, healthy. When miracles flow out of this place it’s healthy because it’s our Papa. It’s our Daddy. He’s a good God and He created me just like Him. I can see your value and I love God with everything I am and then I can love you because I love me. When I love me, I can love you and that’s how everything flows. All along the prophets hang on these two. You know if you love God with all your mind, your hand can no longer tell you what to do. When’s the last time your hand told you, “I’m going to steal something.” And your mind said, “No, you’re not.” And your hand did it anyway? This is how you cut off your hand. Come on. So powerful. So, they deliver that baby. He comes out. He comes into our room. This little guy. He never ever saw the world before. Raar, raar, raar, raar. Ummm. And they put him on mama and it was skin to skin. You know how they do that moms? And I’m sitting there, “Oh God, thank you. Thank you for this boy. Jesus, thank you.” It was like we gave birth to him. I can’t even explain it except that it’s the spirit of adoption, man that we are all supposed to carry. We actually you all carry it. I believe more Christians should adopt kids. I do. If you get the spirit of adoption you’ll want to. You’ll want to. Why? Because it’s amazing to give life to a baby that might not have ever had it. You can raise them up as warriors to destroy hell for a living. That’s why. We’re holding this baby and then the doctors come in and examine him. He’s doing great and then 24-hours goes by and he starts manifesting addiction. I hate addiction man. I hate it. I hate it with a passion. The devils in charge of addiction and I hate it. You were created to be addicted to Jesus and nothing else. It’s the only thing that fits that you can’t overdose on ever, ever. You can never get enough. And you’re supposed to overflow. It’s out of your cup overflowing that you give. You can’t give stuff your not overflowing out of or you’ll be quickly empty. You stay beneath the faucet. So all of a sudden I’ve got to leave. I’ve got to go on a trip. I have a scheduled trip and one of our speakers can’t make it and so I’m going to be doing extra sessions. It’s not a bummer it’s a privilege to get to pour into people. But my wife and my daughter Destiny, she was going to go on the trip with me, but Destiny stayed back to be with mom. Mom and Destiny went into the rehab. So when I get back their in the rehab with Azeriah. That’s his name. Ezeriah was Abednego’s original name before the Babylonian king changed it. I figured my sons going to be in the fire, he might as well manifest Jesus. Anyway. So we go in there and he’s on Methadone. Do you know what Methadone is? It makes all this go down. I’m watching a baby get drugs man. I’m sitting in there and I’m talking to nurses. Hey. I walk in there the first day I’m coming home from my trip. So excited that I get to go in there to rehab. I’m coming in there I’ve got my gown on, scrub up. I’m going to hold my boy and I’ve got three babies in my room. I’m possessed man. I’m not. This is my favorite thing. I’ve got little babies that have no idea that did nothing to deserve this – nothing. And it’s not the mom’s fault but the nurses think it is. Because the nurses think, “This is just the woman’s second baby you’d think she’d have learned by now.” Drug addiction isn’t something you learn out of. Neither is religion. Religion isn’t something you learn out of. Religion is something you get delivered from. That was really good. That was a good word right there. So, I’m asking the moms, “How are you doing?” “I’m okay” “Oh honey, you’re way more than okay.” And I’m sitting there and I’m telling them their value. “Jesus loves you.” They can’t even look at me. I said, “No, no, no. You look at me right now.” Oh I had such a field day in there, man. I went to the nurse. I said, “Hey Patty.” She’s the nurse. “It’s awesome to meet you. I just want to tell you that Jesus loves you.” She said, “Oh that’s great. Thank you very much. I’ve got to go.” I said, “I’ll go with you.” She said, “No. I’ve got work to do. You leave me alone. I’m okay.” I’m serious. And so I go down the hallway. I turn around and I came back. It was the first day meeting her. I’m going to be there for a while so. I go back in the room again. I start talking to the mom that’s in there. This is her second baby and she’s condemned. She’s beat up. She’s ashamed. She’s totally guilty. And she’s living in a place of regret, which is demonic strategy set up to get you to actually take your life. Because I lived suicidal my whole life. I wanted to end my life. That was me but not anymore because I have life - changed my life. So I’m pouring identity into these girls. “God loves you so much. You’re amazing. Patty came back I said, “Hey, you’ve got a problem in your right ankle.” She said, “It comes with the territory.” And she walked out. I said, “Oh no, no, no. Come here girl I’m going to pray for you.” “I have work to do.” “That’s okay.” I walked with her. Held my hand on her shoulder. Prayed for her and then I walked back. The camera can’t find me. Sorry. It is so fun. So Patty, so Patty walks away from me and she is freaked out. She has another nurse came to the room. Her name is Amy and I start talking to her “Hey Amy.” I said, “Can I tell you something.” She said, “Yeah.” So they don’t know who I am. So I share my testimony with them. She said, “Oh my God, I’ve never heard nothing like that.” I said, “This is for every person in this rehab every mama that’s in here.” I said, “Wouldn’t it be amazing.” “That would be amazing.” I said, “Hey, you’ve got pain in the right side of your neck. Is it okay if I pray for you?” She said, “I actually do.” And she’s real like, real blond hair, white skin. So I prayed for her and she turned purple. She said, “It actually feels better. I’ve got to go.” So they walk out of the room. I’m over there praying on babies because they’re crying. Have you ever seen a baby that’s legs go 100-miles an hour because their addicted to heroin and it won’t stop? And you pray for them. It’s so amazing. It’s so crazy. So I’m going down and I’m praying for another one, and another one, another one, another one. I see her across the hallway. “You’re not supposed to go in other peoples rooms.” But maybe if grace gets me in there, I’m going in there. So I just go to the edge and say, “Hey, excuse me. Is it okay if I come pray for the baby?” “No.” “Okay, but let me just share my testimony with you.” “What’s a testimony? “It’s what God says he’ll do again.” So I share my testimony with them.

They’re like, “I don’t care man, whatever.” “Okay cool.” So I go inside. I’ve got permission. I go lay hands on the baby. I lay hands on another baby. I lay hands on dad on mom. They weep. They cry. Jesus wrecks their heart. It’s so good. “Hey, I’m right across the hallway. If you need me, I’m here. I love you.” All I’m doing is sowing seed. I am not just scattering. I don’t scatter. I machine gun. I’m a Christian terrorist. I promise. I’m not kidding. Pow! People say, “How are you doing?” Pow! “Really good.” Hey what’s your name? Pow! Try it. So, I pray for another baby and then we have to go home. We go back then we have to come back in. So this next morning I come up on the elevator and I meet these two guys - this man and this woman. I said, “Hey, how are you doing.” He said, “Well, I’m okay.” I said, “You guys are in the rehab ward, right?” “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I said, “Hey look at me man you’re amazing. God loves you.” He looks away. I said, “No.” I get down. “Hey, look at me bro. God loves you. You’re amazing.” He looks up. I said, “There we go.” He looks down again. I say, “Come on man.” We get off the elevator. I walk with him down the hall. He said, “Dude, what’s your problem?” I said, “It’s not what’s wrong, it’s what’s been made right, bro. I’ve been made right with the living God. You can have the same thing.” “Oh, he wouldn’t want me.” “Oh! You’re wrong.” So amazing. So that day he tells me that he has to walk back to his hotel – him and his wife do. “See my wife and I, we’re going right by the hotel.” Because they are in town and their staying in a hotel like a mile away. I said, “No, we’ll take you.” He said, “No I don’t want to cause any like problems.” “It’s not a problem. It’d be a problem if you wouldn’t let me take you.” “Alright man. Okay” So we come out to the car and I said to him I said, “Hey, how are you doing man, are you alright? So we prayed for your baby, how’s he doing?” “He’s actually doing better. His numbers are better man. Oh, it’s so crazy.” I looked at him and said, “Man, you’ve got pain right here on your back, on your right side, right down below on the bottom of your ribs.” He said, “Man, I’m not getting in that car with you man.” I promise. I say, “Come on dude you’ve got to get in the car.” “No man.” I said, “Why is it weird? I love Jesus. What if Jesus told me about your back? He said, “I don’t know, that’s freaky man.” I said, “How about your wife? Her neck is killing her. She can’t even like raise her head up right.” She goes, “Oh my God.” He goes, “Oh my God.” I said, “That’s who it is, it’s my God. You guys got to let me, do me a favor, and let me pray for you.” So I said, “There’s only one way to find out if it was God or not.” “How’s that?” I said, “Give me your hand.” So I prayed for them. Both of them freak out. Both of them get healed. There like, “You’re kidding me.” I said, “Come on, get in the car.” Get in the car. Let’s go.

They get in the car. It’s so fun. We’re going and I’m just pouring my heart out, telling them about how valuable they are to Jesus. How valuable they are. How amazing they are - what God thinks about them. Pulling out the gold. And we get to the hotel, pull around and he gets out of the car. He looks at me and says, “Hey man.” He said, “Do you think Jesus would do that for me, man?” I went, “Oh God. Yeah.” So we pray for him. He gets born again. Him and his wife both get saved – it’s like ridiculous. He goes like this, he says, “I tell you what man, I feel better than I ever felt, man.” He was having problems sleeping so I had that word of knowledge so I said, “Tonight’s going to be amazing, right.” So the next morning we pull in. We were going to pick him up but he told us he was going to get there another way. We walked in; we’re in the room. He walks by with a cup of coffee and goes, “Dude, I slept last night.” I said, “What do you think of that?” He said, “It’s a miracle.” Real loud, it’s so awesome. “Man, come down, pray for my baby again, okay.” Alright. So he goes down to the room He is so good. I’m going down to his room he has another lady in there she’s kind of like wow one. I walked in there and I’m not going to talk to her. You could tell that she was a little disgruntled - this demonic stuff. So I walk in and when you walk in they get really disgruntled. “Hey how are you doing hon?” And I just shared my testimony. She said, “that’s crazy” I said, “It is.” I said, “You think I can pray for your baby? And the two right here said, “Let him pray for your baby. He’s praying for ours and ours is doing better please let him pray.” She said, “I don’t care, whatever.” I go, okay. So, I walk over there and lay hands on that baby, “Jesus thank you.” Some of the nurses are in there. Some of them are 007 Christians – they’re there. They are. They are, secret service. But still, they believe in God. It’s just, what do they believe about God, right. So we’re praying and another one going down to another room, another room, another room. I walk down and there’s a new couple across the hallway. I walked out and the lady says, “Oh God I know who you are.” And she’s addicted to heroin. She said, “Oh.” She said, “I heard you speak before…” I said, “Look, look at me. God loves you, girl. God loves you.” It’s not; “I can’t believe you did this to your baby.” She doesn’t know any better. It’s not something you learn out of, it’s something you get delivered from. So I’m pouring my heart out and telling her who she is. I said, “Can I pray for you.” She said, “My boyfriend probably won’t like it.” I said, “It’s okay, I’ll like your boyfriend. Can I go in there?” She said, “You can try.” I walked in there and this guy hates God. He just hates religion. He hates what he believes about God. So I walk in and I said, “Hey man, I just want to tell you how much God loves you.” “Yeah, whatever.” I said, “Hey, listen to me.” “What” And I shared my testimony. He said, “That’s crazy.” I said, “It is, but I stand before you.” He said, “Just pray for my baby.” He walks away from me. He’s angry – really. So I go and pray for the baby. I said, “I love you man. Can I have a hug?” What’s he going to do? He hugs me – a distance hug, one of them. I walked out of the room, go and pray for another one. Weeks go by I’m doing this with all the babies, all the parents. We have this one meeting where we’re sitting down at the end – they have to teach us about a car seat. Like, I didn’t know what a car seat was. But you’ve got to learn about it because it’s regulation. So, I’m sitting there in the class and there’s this guy and this girl there and we’re talking and the guy goes, the guy looks at me and said, “Man, you’re pretty happy, man.” I said, “I am full of joy bro.” And the lady who’s teaching the class, you know, she’s a Christian she pauses. I said, “It’s just us four.” I said, “Jesus loves you.” He said, “Yeah, I ain’t religious.” I said, “Me neither bro. We’ve got that in common. I love you.” We shook hands. He’s like, “Weird, weirdo.” So we’re talking and I’m telling him about Jesus, telling him about God. “You know I don’t want to hear this.” He says. He’s pretty upset. I said “Okay.”

My war is not against people. I told him, I said, “Man it’s amazing. You’ve got it all mixed up.” He’s like, “What do you mean?” I said, “Well, I’d like to pray for your wife right now. Do you think that would be okay?” Because he told me that she’s in here because the doctor, he gave her this, that, and the other thing. She’s had chronic pain her whole life and the doctor’s don’t know what it is and they gave her medicine that it made the baby addicted. So now he’s mad at the doctor but really he just doesn’t know who he is or he wouldn’t be mad anymore. So, I said to her, I said, “Can I pray for you?” I look at him, I said, “Look, you don’t even believe that Jesus exists, you should let me pray for her. It doesn’t matter. Nothing will happen anyway, right? Right, nothing's going to happen if we pray right?” “Nothing's real, it’s not real.” I said, “Will you let me entertain what you think is not real?” He said, “I don’t care what you do.” I said, “Alright.” So I prayed for her. Bam! Jesus healed his wife. Completely. Ah she stood up for the first time in her whole life pain free. She said, “Oh my God, it’s gone. Honey, it’s gone.” He said, “No, it’s not.” I said, “This is your wife, you want her to be in pain?” He said, “No, this is so in your mind.” I said, “How about this: Eight years ago you had a car accident…” And I said, “You hurt yourself and your back is so messed up and you’re mad at God because of it.” This is in front of the nurse. And his wife is like, “Oh my God.” He looks at me and said, “How the blank do you know that?” Imagine that, he’s angry and mad and God still wants to touch him. Like he’s not even in forgiveness. He’s pretty bitter and he’s pretty angry. And we think that a prerequisite is that he needs to be into forgiveness so he can be healed. What if it’s the goodness of God that leads people to repentance? He just needs a good encounter with somebody that’s not afraid because that persons not afraid because he’s not going to die. He’s just going to go be with Jesus. What’s he going to do? Punch me? I’ll take one for the team. I’m really serious. Those that know me know this is real. I mean that guy just pops off all the time. No, you have no idea. So I said to him, I said, “Hey, here’s the deal.” He said, “You should know what happened.” He said, “Eight years ago I was in a car accident. I was driving the car. We went over a hill too fast. We were drinking. We flipped the car and I killed my best friend.” I said, “You think God caused that?” He said, “Well, people say God’s in control.” So you’re telling me you don’t believe in God, you just told me that he’s in control, which one is it? He looks at me and said, “Well, I don’t really care which one it is.” I said, “Well, you still have to try to figure out how I knew you were in an accident and how I knew your back was messed up. “Well, I ain’t trying to figure it out.” “That’s right. Since you don’t believe that you’re wife got healed why don’t you let me to pray for you?” I said, “Your one leg is so jacked and your one hip is so messed up. Your leg is about an inch and a half shorter than the other and your hips are out of alignment.” He said, “Yeah. So what?” I said, “Here’s the deal…” Tough guy. I said, “I want you to let me pray for you and what you don’t believe is going to happen right before your eyes.” I get his legs out there and I’m holding them. I said, “Come on man. You’re embarrassed right now.” He said, “I don’t really care.” I said, “Here’s the deal, I want you to stir up as much unbelief as you can right now. Right now get yourself into unbelief as hard as you can. You tell me when you’re ready.” I promise and I’m not playing around with this. I don’t need him to agree with me. God loves him way more than his attitude. We bow way too much to silly stuff. If we just kneel to Jesus we wouldn’t be afraid anymore. So the guy said, “Okay go ahead.” I said, “Alright, Jesus name hips be straight, leg grow.” That thing came right out. He said, “What are you doing?” I said, “Nothing.” His wife said, “Oh my God, your leg just grew. Oh my God. Oh my God.” He said, “There is no God.” I said, “Stand up.” He stood up. He said, “What?” I said, “Touch your toes.” He said, “I can’t.” He touched his toes. He said, “I don’t know what’s going on right now.” He didn’t give his life to Jesus and say, “I surrender all.” He didn’t say, “Oh Todd I worship you.” Silly. He didn’t say, “What’s your name evangelist?” He didn’t. He said, “What the blank just happened?” I said, “The God that you don’t believe in lives in me and He’d love to live in you and when you’re ready He’ll come in.” I said, “But God loves you so much that despite your anger and despite your bitterness He touched you.” And the nurse has a thing on her face like this. She’s just watching. She still has the rest of the class to teach. It’s time we raise up and now be fearless. Babies depend upon it. So, this nurse is talking to me. This guy gets so rocked. He’s so overwhelmed. He gives me a hug and he says “Man something happened. I don’t know what it is.” I said, “Well, your minds trying to catch up but your heart took you there already. You know God is real. He loves you. He healed your wife. Your wife is going to be healed from this day forward. She’s not going to be in pain anymore.” I said, “What are you going to do with that?” He said, “I don’t know man I’m going to figure it out.” “Well, when she wakes up pain free and gets out of bed and doesn’t go ‘Ouch.’ Since you love her you’d say ‘I’m so glad you’re better honey’ and talk about how she got better.” So the next day, literally I get called into the head nurses office. This is going to be fun. She calls me in, she says, “I need you to come in my office please Mr. White.” I said, “Yes mam I’d love to.” I come into the office and I know what’s going to happen right now. She’s really mad. I sit down. She said, “Let me tell you something.” I said, “Yes mam.” She said, “These women think you’re Jesus and you’re not.” I said, “You’re right I’m not. I never said I was Jesus.” “Oh well, they think you are. You’re not.” I said, “You are exactly right I am not Jesus. There’s only one Jesus.” She said, “I know that but they think you’re Jesus, you’re not.” And I said, “You are exactly right I am not Jesus.” And she’s pow pow woot wah. She’s giving it to me. She’s not my war I love her. But responding and trying to defend myself, protect myself, tell her she’s wrong and I’m right doesn’t make anything right. It’s not right it’s righteousness being right with God. It’s not trying to look haughty in front of people. She believes that these women think that I said, “Honey, I’m not. Can I share something with you?” So I shared my testimony with her. And she said, “That’s great but you’re still not Jesus.” She said, “You know Satan can perform signs.” And I said, “Let me ask you this…” I said, “If I’m praying for people in the name of Jesus and Satan’s healing them then we all ought to pack our bags. If I say in Jesus name be healed and Satan says, ‘I think I’ll heal him.’ we’re in trouble.” She said, “What? Whatever.” I said, “Camina can we just pray together?” She said, “Okay we can do that but you’re not Jesus.” I said, “You’re right.” So we’re holding hands “Father thank you in the name of Jesus.” She prays beautiful prayer actually she prays for me and it’s beautiful. I said, “Father, I thank You for this amazing mama - the one that cares about all these women. God I thank You she’s poured all her heart and her soul into them. Lord I ask You, in the name of Jesus, bless her, put favor upon her and grace more grace for her job. She has a lot to do and a lot of responsibility. Father I thank You that while You’re at it, while you’re doing this, I thank you that you heal the left side of her neck right on her trap in Jesus name, right now.” She pulled away from me she said, “Who told you about my neck?” I said, “Who’d you tell?” She said, “Nobody.” I said, “Well, I don’t know.” I said, “What’s going on in your neck.” She said, “I don’t know. It’s warm and I don’t know what’s going on.” I said, “Well, is it gone?” She said, “Well it’s a little there still.” I said, “Can I pray for you again?” She said, “Okay.” Do you know that the Holy Spirit is a better evangelist than we are? His is called presence evangelism – let His presence touch people. So she gets completely healed. She looks at me and she said, “Keep praying for these mama’s.” I said, “Alright you have a good day.” She said, “Go on.” So praying for babies day after day after day after day - same stuff. One woman comes running down the hallway she said, “Please, please come to my room. My baby stopped breathing I need you to come to my room right now. Please Mr. White please, please.” I said, “I’m absolutely on my way.” So I come out and there’s a nurse that’s not happy about me going into rooms. She said, “You are not going into her room.” She’s not even hearing the problem with the woman and her baby. She said, “You are not going to their room.” I said, “Well, I can pray for her right out here in the hallway.” She said, “You can pray out here in the hallway but you are not going in her room.” I said, “Alright, come on give us your hands we’re going to pray.” The angry nurse, no joke. We held hands and we prayed for that baby in the hallway. The nurse just held her hands and smiled like she got her way because I didn’t go in the room. That lady went down to her room and that baby started breathing. What a King. Just a couple days later Ezeriah is getting ready to get discharged. He’s one of the quickest babies to come out of rehab, 23 days. We watched him go to normal on his levels and stuff. On the day that we took him out Patty, that nurse, the one that I…

Because every time they come in my room I’m pouring Jesus. I don’t have anything else I don’t talk about football. I don’t talk about baseball. Christianity is a full time contact sport. That’s my sport. I love it. That’s what I talk about. We’ve always got the ball. We always win score. I’m cheering the team on. Go Team. Go. Come on. That’s what I’m talking about. Come on - that a boy. So all the nurses are getting blasted in Jesus. So on my way out the head nurse, the one that was angry, she had told me the day before, a couple days before she started a ministry to strippers in a nightclub. The one that didn’t want me to pray for anybody. In a week later she’s in nightclubs talking to strippers. She’s got a shirt We Love Strippers. You don’t understand what happens, people get possessed with the Truth and their like ‘Aw I didn’t’ see it, snort.” And they start to run with Jesus. She said to me, “My daughter’s at the front desk and she is really angry at me. She had scoliosis and she’s been hurting since she was a baby. Will you pray for her? She’s angry at God she doesn’t talk to me about God.” I said, “I sure will.” That’s the one that brought me into her office. So I walked by. I said, “Hey honey.” I said, “Your mama just told me that you’ve got scoliosis.” She said, “Humph” Right, because mom, you know. I said, “The only reason she told me is because you’re in pain and she doesn’t like to see it.” She said, “Well, there’s nothing anybody can do about it.” I said, “Honey I know these nurses have been talking to you about them being healed” because lots of nurses got healed and touched and crazy stuff happened. I said, “Well, why don’t you let me pray for you.” She said, “You can if you want to.” I said, “I really want to.” So we prayed. Sure enough her scoliosis, krrr, goes straight. She stood up and touched the floor. She said, “Oh my God. Oh my God.” And her mom was…

I said, “You’re mother can tell you all about what just happened.” She said, “Okay I really appreciate you, Mr. White, what you’ve done here.” I was hugging her. We walk out and Patty walks us out, the nurse that couldn’t stand to talk to me the first day. She walks us out to the car because she has to see us put the car seat in the car. You know, regulations. They really do they have to see you belted in make sure it’s secure. She walks out to the car. I put the car seat in. I turn around. Nurse Patty’s like this, “Mr. White you folks changed my life.” She said, “I didn’t believe there was no Jesus.” She said, “But you guys walk just like Jesus would walk.” She said, “You guys, you changed my life. I just don’t want you to leave.” I said, “Patty we’ll come back.” She said, “I know you got to go but I don’t like it.” We sat there and we held Patty, she got born again gave her life to Jesus. It’s so powerful. We marked the hospital. We marked a hospital with the reality of who God is. The Spirit of adoption is the reality of who Christ says you are. It’s the Spirit of God coming inside of you and inside of you He cries out Abba Father, daddy God. Abba! Just in case you were sleeping. Put your hands on your heart. Say this, “Jesus, do it in this heart. Do it in this heart. Place the Spirit of adoption in my heart. Let me be infused with Your Spirit. Let me fellowship with you and commune with you everyday. Let me know you’re love that surpasses my brain. I want to know your love everyday let that be my pursuit. Everywhere I go in Jesus name.”